Tuesday, August 01, 2006
i suddenly dont feel a single thing.
i know it isnt right.
finished the novel p.s.i love you today. happy ending, sad storyline. worthy reading.
cried at ending. got suddenly reminded of every single memory i had with him. and it really hurts.
thats when i came to know that i still love him . deep down my heart.
i dreamt of him and me tgt last night.i am still thinking of you when i am feeling lonely.
i am still secretly missing you when i told other ppl that i am perfectly fine.
i am still pretending that i am fine though i am not.
i am still struggling in the sea of tears.
i am still trying my best to let you go.
i am still holding on to the little ray of hope.
i am still making wishes that one fine day you may be back.
but i know. you never will.what can i do.
and please. if you are ever reading my blog. even though i know its impossible already. please. cheer up and enjoy your life. your life should be more brilliant and more funfilled without me. really. enjoy. please. it just hurts to see you being upset. it just hurts to hear you say life sucks.
i still remember everything you said.every single word.every single promise.even the most hurting word.somethings you shall never know.there is still a folder full of your messages.every single one of them.there is one particular note written for you.it records down every single detail i know about you.i think i am crazy.but what can i do.being so lovesicked.i know i shouldnt .i know i should have moved on.yes. life is still going on.but its just going on around me.my life is pointless. if you ever had noticed."can you try not to think of me from now on? i mean for the sake of everyone. no its just for the better. i dont want to give you any false ideas anymore. find someone that will take care of you better than i do; thats the nicest way i can put it, even though im that evil. dont get too upset k? i couldnt tell that to you in person the other time. very sorry."thanks for even telling me that.
these words are the most hurting ones of them all.
i think. i shall just smile and walk away.
yea.
cos would you even care anymore?
i guess. not.
((:
i have my bleeding heart/crying to itself/numb/who else cared
Scuicide On a Sunny Day.
1:39 AM
