-|[stop i n s u l t i n g me]|-

2010-03-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

这次期初考试。

语文作文给我写成一篇十分emo的文。

然后昨晚跟妈妈交涉到12点。获批不去学校出去自己学习。

=========================

i wonder whats really wrong with me.

havent been feeling so suicidal for a long time alr.............................?

mood swing..?

101th!

2009-12-18T07:21:00.000-08:00

oh whoa this is my 101th post... and its gonna signify the revival of my long-dead blog! XD

something quick before i sleep. :D

went to a gospel meeting tonight. its all routine stuffs... but quite enjoyable. but what touched me was the fellowship the brother had with a group of sisters. he wasnt saying it to me, but it touched me alot.

"why bother comparing? something you understand, for example, might not necessarily be somthing that she understands. because you guys went through different experiences. we grow, not only with life, but with different experiences in life. so that makes us having no right to compare ourselves with others."

i was sitting beside her, thinking this thing makes sense..... totally.

ugh. my day is half half half productive today. gonna go grandmas house and pick up some random viewbook again(i suppose) and maybe i should ....... do the financial forms and stuffs.

love you all.

<3,
anna

all i typed in these days -.-

2007-08-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

On plane, all we did was eating, drinking, reading and sleeping. At least for me it is so, which was pretty retarded, because every time I woke up it must be the trolley goes around distributing food, food and food. Sigh. And suddenly I realized that after eating so much we are only around 2 hours away from Beijing. It is like WOW we are there so freaking fast? Compared to the trip TO Cleveland, the trip back seems so much faster because we spent literally 37 hours on plane, excluding the waiting time. Ha. After coming out of the airport my first impression of this big city is that it is huge, dirty, dusty, and hot. Hopelessly hot. It is out of your imagination how hot it is to live up in Beijing. And I saw on the weather forecast that somewhere down southeast it is reaching up to 40 Celsius. I wonder how the heck those people are able to live in such places. And soon I found out the answer pretty soon. The solutions are easy—just stay at home with your air conditioning on. Then you’ll stay pretty cool.

Oh wells. So we reached Beijing, the Zhangs treated us to this meal that makes me realize what kind of CHINESE food I was eating in America, which pretty proves that Chinese food is only more original in its origin place—china.

Yea and then I came back people were asking me if I want to drink beer. Im like um im still under 21… and I was speaking in English to my mom that even im under 21, when I go back to North America I would hang out with peter and go drink beer and my mom was like um okay?

Oh well. And then I realized the cultural difference between Chinese people and Western people. Like when American people treat you to a dinner all they tell you is to serve yourself and that’s all. And Chinese people don’t ask you, instead all they do is keeping adding food into your bowl or dish and you just keep eating and they won’t listen to you when you say IM FUCKING FULL. Ha.

And thinking of the schooling in China all I have in me is fear, fear and fear. The teachers criticize you without even thinking. That’s what I like about the education in Western cultures: they encourage you instead of criticizing you all the time.

coughs.

2007-07-25T19:55:00.001-07:00

now the fact is, i still cant believe that i am actually leaving america in the next, 36 hours. it is incredible.

this trip here is very amazing, considering that i could never had been here.

followings are my memories, arranged in chronicle's order.

arriving in LA. arriving in Las Vegas. arriving at CLE. giant eagle. k&kmarket. cooking using aluminum foil. italian bread. register in sch. LHS. schedule. placement test. getting lost in school. deborah. pearl. 1008. piano. esther chu. shulamite. sean. dont drink the water. barnstormers. end of the world. choir. home design. psychology. oliver. auditions. piano exam. birthday. deb left. tim. christina. ben chen. disciple camp. winsconsin. the lu. xia. facebook. the fake revealed itself. tiffany. vane. jack. mr hottie. ha . chu. danni moved over to flowershop. min. min and jerry. morning revival every morning. watchman nee. snow fights. volleyball. troy MI. dayton OH. Columbus OH. Maryland MD. Washington DC. Pittsburgh PA. cedar point. detroit MI. new lappy. AIM. myspace. peter. alan. peter wu. christine sun. choon hyang. yoo hee. devil.

look at all those i had written. i forgot many cos my mind is too preoccupied.

sigh. all those worries.

i thank my Lord for giving me peterw as my brother, my companion, who had listened and talked to me when i have too many things in mind.

thanks to tiff and pw for bringing me to a night tour to columbus and get lost and cant find the way back to ashland woods manor.

thanks for giving me all those precious memories.
"there is no imaginary 58 go screw yourself"
"!xobile"
"F YOU DAD"
"BE a man. DO the right thing."
"B BB BBBB BB BBBB BB B B B B"

HAHHAHHAAA. that makes me laugh.

i m glad that i came when im 16. if i came any younger i would not have enjoyed the same stuffs, the same feelings that i would have when the things happen to me.

people around me were in car accidents and almost none of them were hurt.

mountain top.
sally yang.

college training. stars.

danni broke his arm bone. because he threw the ball too hard.

benjamin annoys me but he is so cute -.-

i miss singapore and tom yam and laksa and chicken rice and cup noodles and roti prata and all that.

i miss deffany and dorothy and lydia and hana and xiaozhou and samuel lee and gwen and mt and rachel and langston and loads of other people that i have yet to be mentioned.

oh my gawd.

=.= im so tired. i slept at 4 am for the past 3 weeks and i am seriously very very tired.

but i m trying to adjust to the time diff la. one day a person can adjust to an hour diference, so i need around 2 weeks to totally adapt to the new timing in china.

think of all those food to come. XD

cant wait.

think of all those stress and pressure to come.

wtf.

noooooo. >< someone [help/talk to/hug/encourage/pray for] me?
5 options. choose one.
thanks ^^

titleless

2007-07-13T21:05:00.000-07:00

i hereby is gonna announce something really realllyyyyyyyy important, shocking, disappointing, saddening, whatever negative descriptive word you can think of.
suicidal? o.0 no.

i am leaving for beijing, china on the 27th of july and supposingly not going back to singapore again.

im very sorry, its not my decision, not that i have a choice either -.-

and, omg i hate you peter wu =.=
nvm.

different peters guys. one from lakewood and one from ontario. toronto??

dunno.

im making a hard decision ><

hard hard hard.

i wonder though, cos its actually shld be a very easy one to make.
but i m hestitating so much. im selfish. i want to keep my future to myself.

dont know.

and i still love you; i dont know how to let go of you.

random random?

2007-06-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

then peter reappeared after like 3 months because he was expelled. then he suddenly appeared one day [ senior last day? ] and asked me for my phone number . -.-
and he tried to call me, but he left the wrong # somehow. o.O

and you caught me completely offguard when you appeared; you made me wanna run away...

tell me why is loving you so hard
i know we are impossible
but just why
that i cant get over you
the pain comes back
with the sight of you
i loved too hard
and i cant withdraw

-------------------------------------
reply to tags..
unique: updated :D
JL: i tried. i cant smile.
sam: wow? is hk fun? :D
olivia: omg sam made it XD and uh who is in the comm now? and thanks for missing me suddenly ^^

stop hurting me.

2007-05-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

every single word of yours carve an unremovable mark in my heart.

and every single mark drains my soul.

too much self-explanation do the opposites.

i know you are hurt.

but so am i.

just stop. please stop.

why does she matters to you that much?

if she means everything to you ; then what am i

some craps.

2007-03-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

ha great.

my sitecounter has reached 2000+. thank you guys for your support of http://thecraps.blogspot.com!

good job, yea?

=

anw. whatever.

so there is another episode of random senior affection attack! -.-

cry out loud.

setting: E.cafeteria, some high school, some state, some country, some planet, some system, some universe.

so i wrapped the sandwich wrapper back in place, making it look like a perfect sandwich. and i left it on the garbage dump.
then girl A and B walked over.
a: hey you have a sub and u dont want it?
mE: yea . if you want it then go ahead and take it ^^
b:*snatches*
a:omg there is nothing inside. -.-
b:lets use this and trick people ^^
so they went away and im like, uh okay o.0

-5 mins later-

girl A walks back with a guy, she point at me and said, "here she is." then they are like uh okay ........

then the guy started talking to me.
guy: hey im peter! nice to meet u.
me: uhhhhh hi im anna. o.O
peter: so wehre are u from?
me: um singapore. yea.
peter: oh thats soooo nice!!! etcetcetc

then he started talking all those craps and stuffs. and etcs.
then im like uhhhh okayyyy.........??
then he said bye and went away.

-2nd day-
he came over to my table again, gave a shock to the friend beside me.
me:*looks up* hey peter.
peter:*looks down, surprised, wrapped his arm around me* hi anna...how areyou?
me:*OMG URGKKKK GET AWAYFROMME!!!=x* yea im pretty uh good.
peter: *talks random craps* okay bye.

-lunch ended-
when i was walking in the little corridor to get out of cafeteria, someone poked me on my waist.
me:ugh! who was that?
thinking it should be a girl friend of mine, i turned around.
peter: haha. you are ticklish??
me: uhhhh ><>< -.- then i walked away. -afewdayslater- girl A: hey anyone of you has 5 cents? me: i think i do. girl A: uh thank you. i love you^^ me: i love you too^^ girl A: uh oh yea do you still remember that peter guy? me: uh yeaaa..? girl A: oh so after that day he started asking all those questions about you and he had this huge big crush on you. me: huh?! OMG. -.- so this is the second senior (12 grader) that uh, had uh, random feelings about me -.- SO WEIRD! gawd o.O so annoyinggggg. ha. but well. -.- lol. ha. dont care ><

i fucking hate myself.

2007-02-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.i fucking hate myself.

just wanna say it thousand times. but im too scared that my com will hang. -.-

你知道喜欢和爱的界线吗?

2007-02-16T18:44:00.000-08:00

喜欢是16岁时上自习课偷偷看前排那个帅气男生的发际，当他不经意扭过头的时候赶紧避开他的目光，脸却不争气的红了。

　　爱是他在的时候，眼睛里只有他一人；他不在的时候，一切都带有他的影子。

　　喜欢是在深夜看书时突然想起他，想象他现在做什么，心里漾起一阵轻飘飘的温暖，却从不主动给他打电话。几分钟后，注意力又重新被书中的情节吸引。

　　爱是在寂寞的夜里，思念如潮水般涌来，手里捧着书却怎么也看不进去，心里惦记着他此时是否还在加班，吃没吃晚饭，是不是如自己想着他一般想着自己。
　　
喜欢是和他讨论问题争的面红耳赤，各不相让，在他面前像个刺猬一样从不认输，但在心里却早已暗暗佩服他的见地他的才华。

　　爱是希望他和自己步调一致，和自己心灵相通，他无心说的一句玩笑话也能让自己顷刻情绪低落甚至眼泪汪汪。在他面前，自己是从不设防的。

　　喜欢是出门在外给他发个短信，告诉他这边的天气很好，然后把手机关掉，独自在异地疯玩一个星期，晒成一个黑人后突然出现在他面前吓他一跳。

　　爱是无论到哪都希望有他陪伴。可以站在海边给他打手机，让他听听海浪的声音；也可以因为在异乡的街道上看到一个酷似他的背影而愣在原地久久不动。

　　喜欢是他出差前简单的道一声“一路平安”，看着他离去的背影，心中有一点不舍，却什么也不说，只是默默等待他归来的消息，

　　爱是他临出差前千叮咛万嘱咐，往他的背包里塞满衣服和食物，在车站要等到火车开走才肯离开。并且在他走后的日子里天天心神不定，一遍遍的祈祷他能够平安归来。

　　喜欢是在受伤的时候，不想让他看到自己脆弱的一面，在他面前把眼泪悄悄抹掉，转过头依然是一副快乐坚强的模样。

　　爱是在受委屈的时候，爬在他的胸前痛哭，没有伪装没有顾虑，把所有的烦恼统统告诉他，并渴望从他的怀抱中得到安慰。

　　喜欢是和他周末逛街逛累了一起吃肯德基；是在寒冷的冬天和他抢一杯热咖啡；是和他并肩走在街上中间始终隔着半米的距离；是陪他一起在电脑前打游戏两个人笑的像个孩

　　爱是周末利用半天时间亲手做出几道好菜满足的看他吃下去；是在寒冷的冬天不断为他的咖啡杯里续上热水；是和他走在街上任由他紧紧挽着自己的手；是在他旁边安静着做着，幸福地看着他在电脑前工作时专心的样子。

　　喜欢是听他讲自己童年的趣事，然后哈哈大笑，心中涌起一阵莫名的感动。

　　爱是听他将自己童年的趣事，然后微微一笑，心中更加怜惜眼前这个曾经如此调皮捣蛋的男人。

　　喜欢是在楼道里碰上他，愉快的和他打声招呼，再简单寒暄几句，擦肩而过的时候看见了窗外明媚的阳光，心情无端好了起来。

　　爱是在楼道了看见他，脸上装出一副毫不在乎的表情，但在擦肩而过时细心感受身边颤动的空气，于是忍不住回头望一眼。

　　喜欢是看到他和另一个女孩牵手走过，心里有一点点疼，但很快会冲着朝阳重新扬起笑脸。

　　爱是输不爱是输不起的游戏，付出全部只后，留下的可能仅仅是刻在心底的一道伤痕。

haiz.. if it is as said, then im starting to love you.

why is that so? i wonder.

no one would tell me.

just that everytime i miss you i know for sure that the person in your heart is not me. but her.

sigh.

just that time everytime im blaming myself for being so silly. i know that i cant withdraw myself from it.

i question myself. but i have no answer.

haiz.

i started hanging out online..doing nothing.. just to wait for you and talk with you..

sometimes angry with you for letting me wait that long..but once you are back i was always happy to see you..

why?

its like the baby monkey harlow did in his psychology research ><

im going crazy ><

personality stuffs.

2007-02-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Above Average

You Are 79% Addicted to the Internet

In your opinion, life without the internet is hardly worth living.

Could be, but you probably need a bit more fresh air and sunshine to think clearly.

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.

Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.

You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.

Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.

For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

You Are 60% Addicted to Love

Might as well face it, you're addicted to love.

You've been a fool for love many times - but are you the wiser for it?

Your needs should come first, both in and out of relationships.

Because you're the only one who can look out for yourself!

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.

You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.

Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.

Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

doot.

2007-02-04T17:08:00.000-08:00

the next day i dint go and take straws cos i too scared ma. then one girl friend ofmine came over. and i thought she want find her other friends at my table but i dint expect her to come over and tapped on my shoulder and said: "eh. you know what? the red shirt guy likes you." im like what? -.--.--.- what?! issit the asian guy? i asked and she said YES -________________- im like omg. just ignore him k and she walked away and later on i raised my head from my psychology hw and saw his whole table looking at me -.-

when the lunch period was over; i walked towards to the door to wait for the bell to ring. and there comes the girl. and she asked me:
she: so that guy likes u!
me: -.- uh . yea.
she: do u like him??
me: -__- i dont know =x i dont even know him.
she: umm. but he likes you!
me: -.------------- uhhh. but how do YOU know that he likes me??
she: he just told his whole table that he likes you.
me: *speechless =x* uh.

and then my lovelly friend Leah Parks, called me and finally i escaped from the endless hole of questions from that girl =.=

so. i was scared. kind of. and dont know what to do between the guy i like and the guy who likes me. and so the next day i walked with sean together in the hall way and we saw him.

day1 when we saw him:
me: *pokes him* EH. thats him.
sean: who??

day II
me: there comes him again.
sean: OMG he is soooo ugly =x

day III
me and the guy saw each other and walked pass each other.
me: ha . that guy.
sean: he dint dare to look at you just now! ><
me: >< maybe hes too shy. haha.

thats all. omg i dont know whats gonna happen on mon.

btw, that guy should be a chinese cos i asked my friend who sits at that guys table and he told me his name is alan chan or alan chen or something. and that guy is damn clever because his GPA(something like average grade among all your classes; full marks is 5) is freaking high- 4.2 . which means he took advance placement classes which makes him has an GPA that >4. cos i think my GPA is like 3.8 or something but i dint take any Advanced placement classes so my GPA is kind of considered high. ha. but he is so much higher ><

=.=
rah.

im so confused now ><

<3,
anna

WEIRD PEOPLE!!!!!

2007-01-30T13:49:00.000-08:00

so. i had met all those weird people today who really scared the crap out of me.

episode I : PSYCHO ATTACK
setting: in psychology class on thursday or something.
during a group discussion, there was this guy sitting beside me and i was like, do u want to say Q3? and he just started SHOUTING at me. -.- omg. omg. OMG. and i was like okayyyy sorry okay?? i dint mean that -,- and then that shuted him up.
i met my psychology teacher when i was walking to my last period class. she was like hey anna i was just thinking about you. im like uh yea? she says that guy has some kind of mental disorders. so he could attack when hes like abnormal. but you did exactly the right thing that calmed him down . i was like, oh yea. that gave me a shock. like he just started shouting at me. -.-

episode II : dontknowwhat. T.T
setting: east cafeteria, ******** high school, ********, ** 44**7
sigh.
FIRST DAY (1/29 my birthday)
so i was sitting at one corner of my lunch table with my bunch of friends, and i went to take a straw. on my way back there was this table of guys sitting together like latino asian white1 white2 white3. and the latino was talking to me like hey girl! im like uhhh........hi??? all awkward and stuffs. -.- and i went back to my table.
SECOND DAY (1/30 the day* after my birthday)
*in which i sweared i will stop liking the guy i loved in my year of 16. *niap
so i went to take a straw again to make a heart, after like dorothy lim taught me so i just like, okay i will just do one for myself- . - so so on my way there, there was that table, seated latino asian white1 white2 white3, and the latino was like, hey girl what grade u in? im like 1oth..?? and after i took the straw they were like how old r u? im like, 16? he:" do u go out with boys now?" me:"=.= nooo...." and he was like, "is a senior too old forr you? "

uh uh.
asked at the wrong time -.-
right after the day i sweared that i will stop loving.

haha. T.T

sean. i need u so bad.

haiz.

2007-01-29T18:35:00.001-08:00

haha. so its my birthday today. just turned 16.

older by one year.

one year closer to death.

haha.

anyways.

im touched today cos all my drama classmates plus mr gannon sang a happy birthday song for me! thanks merissa perez for anouncing it for me -.- haha. but i was touched anyways! haha.

erm. haiz.

dont know what to write.

had a weird birthday . with no celebrations . like no one even remembers.

(except for all those stuffs that i signed up for, like bingbox, and the weirdest-NKF(the national kidney foundation-.-) and stuffs. and none of my friends actually want to say happy birthday or something to me. )

except for sean, who sent me a happy birthday card. ha. thanks.

now im going to check my friendster's testimonials. if i dont see any birthday related testimonials, im going to kill myself. -.-

yay no need le. got 3! xD feeling better instantly. blehs =x

hmmm.

imu. buticannolongerlu.

lol.

2007-01-25T16:49:00.000-08:00

dear you,

congratulations on being selected as one of the casts in the musical Oliver!

I would like to show my appreciation of your talents, which is really unique and amazing. haha. you dont know how cute you are when you are on stage! xD i told you but you wont believe me. =| you were great, really. =D

so. good luck for the rehearsals coming up! you know it will be really tiring, 10 weeks of 3-hour rehearsal? i cant bear that. with all my homework piano and stuffs. gawd. nope. not for me. well i hope you can enjoy it here, because its kind of like your last one? and maybe i should ask all the young people to come and see you.

i just know that it will be real exciting. cant wait. (:

anyways. see u tmr in sch! =D

<3

loves,
anna

erms.

2007-01-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

long time no see, thought me MATI?

nopes. im still alive!

(at least 40% -.-)

anyways. sorry dint blog for like HELL long. lots things happened la. then no time to blog nia >< updates ="D">< .missed XMC! x( .droped choir with penalty. so i have an F for the rest of the year for concert choir. damn that teacher. .but wells i picked up social psychology for the 2nd semester! which means , something diff? o.0 .omg. grossgrossgrosssss ><
.had been snowing heavily recently. kind of sick and tired of snow (like so fast o.0)
.uhh.
.oh yea. my nokia 7200 =D is not really working that well here -.-
.whats up with you guys? recently?? no one is really updating me o.0
.happy birthday to tons of people! like samuel lee wan heng(which is chiduned,) ng wei hui! (=D), jingjia, grace aik(wow i rmbed), samuel lin, _____peopleT.Tsorryicntrmbanymore!#!$T.Tsorryicntrmbanymore!#!$!&*_____
.erms. rah. tired ><
.my hypoglycemia is getting better =
.i dont like POTATO JUICE. sounds gross.
.val tan says that she wanted to tell me something but she forgot. im secretly wishing that she could rmb asap cos curiosity is kind of strangling me? o.0
.um. stuffs.
. p.q
. oh yeaa. i had the 2nd weirdest dream which is in the same series as the weirdestest dream. like the character is saying totally different things. i dint wanna wake up at all T.T

doot.

cyas.

something is coming real soon! on monday ><
lets see who rmbs =P

100th day celebration!

2006-12-17T19:26:00.000-08:00

cough cough.

today is the 100th day that i had left singapore and came to the US.

it has snowed TWICE.

refer to my photos!

hahhahaaaa.

and i had my piano performance TWICE!!

refer to my photos!

and im happy!

not referring to my photos!

and i am not a bird!!

refer not to my photos!

went out this afternn for coffee!

no photos available!

it was such a big cup of milkshake!

and i finished it all =x

so much fats!

rahhh.

and i am slimming down! yay.

hhehehheeehhahahahahhaaaaa.

im already down with 5 kilos in like, a week? xDDD

waahhahahaaaa.

yeps.

hyperness!

yoyo.

2006-11-27T17:59:00.000-08:00

haha. what a lame title.

anws.

i am just back from naperville, Chicago, IL! xD and it was uh, kind of fun. lols.

yeps yeps.
i am missing sean already.

i took pictures. will try to upload.

tmr auditioning for winter play ''end of the world''. but haven memorize any of the lines yet. SHIT.

lols.

anw this morning woke up late having a VIVID DREAM WITH FEELINGS ABOUT A GIRL. lol. hmm. and then was like bo chap alr walking to sch in my normal speed. then heng arh. 7.59 reach sch. just enter the door then hear the 1-min bell. LOL.

erms.

my grades.

US HISTORY: 88.41 B+
ENGLISH: 93.41 A
HOME DESIGN: 88.51 B+
BIOLOGY: 82.50 B
CONCERT CHOIR: 98? A
ALGEBRA 2: ?? B
DRAMA: 89% B+

i just got to know that i am among the few who gets A in HD and bio this quarter. WAAKAKA. =D

gone =D

maybe i really do love you, sean. but we cant be together, can we?

pissed.

2006-11-09T19:09:00.000-08:00

quote of the day: 上对不起国家下对不起人民左对不起老妈右对不起GOD 中间对不起自己.

this comes from the ultimate frustration of cant do better in:

.academics.
this means i am getting an A only in english and choir and all others are Bs and B+s. which makes me extremely pissed. because i expected myself to get an A+.

.piano.
my performance is this sunday and i am freaking out. really freaking out. like people practise to get better. i practise to get worse and worse. and end up banging the piano and burst into tears. =.=

.pressure.

sigh. i shall continue tmr. hopefully. 0.0

welcome to my blog! =.=

2006-11-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

welcome guys to my blog!

big big news.

it seriously SNOWED today.

refer to my photos! =D

CLICKMEYOUSEXYDUDE :D (well it doesnt sound really good though =|)
DropShots annagong8942! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<

cyas soon!

dont drink the water with sean evin! <3

1000hitcelebration!

2006-11-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

YAY! MY HITS JUST GONE OVER A THOUSAND! THANK YOU GUYS FOR SUPPORTING THECRAPS.BLOGSPOT.COM! ZZ.STICKMAN.ANNA.GONG LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!

*a thousand hearts!*

well maybe im in love.
but maybe im asking too much again.
so maybe i shouldnt do it again.
like memories replaying in reality.

but it just shouldnt be.
but its just so wrong.
but i cant stop myself.
i am serious; i really cant.

wells. maybe i just shouldnt let it happen
no matter what, no matter who.
im not trying to convince myself;
im trying to FORCE myself to STOP

i love you.
i love you not.
i do love you.
but i cant.

sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.

Sean evin (: <3

2006-10-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

do i love him?

cries.

===

2006-10-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

i know, i know, i know.

i know its late now.
i know its like past midnight now.
i know i should be sleeping.

but i just cant bear to tell you all that the photo is ready !

DropShots zzstickman
CLICKMEHEREONMYHEADYOUDUDE

lol.

i cant bear you anymore. if you wanna help, cant you hurry up? it takes you forever to ever do me some FAVOR. i rather find it myself. will never ask you again, dont worry.

if i like him. nono. i cant like him. but just if. IF i like him. but you dont like him! i am saying IF! there is no if, my dear. your life is absolute. YES and NOs. if you like him, it will turn out just like last time. you will end up hurting both sides. so NONO. dont even think about it. but just if. NO IFs. you HEARD me. fine. fine . fineeee.

i was talking to myself.

bigbigbigbigbig YAWWWWNNNN.

written this at 2.14am, hopeless to sleep yet

video =D

2006-10-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

HEY PEEPO! xD which sounds like HIPPO!! xD

i performed my second pantamime and successfullly made all my audience laugh but i felt spastic afterwards -.- lol. well wellwell.

CLICKME:
DropShots zzstickman

thats my new album! got video one!!! the quality is SO FREAKING SWEEEETTT!!! xDDD and yeaa!!! haha. got one is me playing piano. LIVE!! xD

hahahhaaaaas.
o.O

lalala.

2006-10-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

i miss you.
i really do.

but do you know who you are?
i guess not.

well i am talking nonsensically.

I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day i found
It won't be the same
Oh

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't ooooooooooooh
I hope you can hear me
Cause I remember it clearly

I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake it
It happened you passed by

Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back

I miss you

the day/you/slipped away

you know what. today it SNOWED. 5 times. like can u believe it? its only like mid october and it SNOWED. and it was FREAKING cold. lol. but well. shawn was SO excited that he started dancing and people came out and was like UH............dots? lol.

i missed the snow SO much. like 4 years without snow is complete CRAP.

btw. i dont know where i belong to. -transcendentalism =P-
i really dont.

but well. i dont wanna belong anywhere though. just live and eat and die. hahaha.

did a random drawing on my hand, entitled I HATE THE COLOR BLUE in blue ink. LOL.

barnstormers...we started out jobs! =D and during drama class we are doing pantomimes. HINT , HINT! hahahhaaa.

i wanna change BLOGSKIN LE!

its kind of boring looking at that squarish figure everyday.

once again. i miss you.

<3

uh huh.

2006-10-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

The eSPIN Personality Test

MY RESULT:Super Villain

You think you're great, you love to have a good time (even if it's at somebody else's expense), and you love to win. So what's wrong? Well, basically, those are the same qualities shared by super villains everywhere.

There's hope for you yet - so whatever you do, stay far, far away from all things evil. Seriously. We'd even avoid devilled eggs and Devil's food cake. Keep a clean record and you might transform from a super villain to a superhero.

Take This Quiz!

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

What's Your Secret Talent?

MY RESULT:Reading People's Minds

Bet you already knew that, right?

There’s not really any point in explaining any more of this to you, since you probably already know what we’d say. But if you’re one of those non-believers, who’s still not even sure you have ESP, we recommend you open your mind and start exploring your new-found talent. Great places to start: phone conversations with your crush, final exam week, and, of course, “Jeopardy.”

Take This Quiz!

o.0

i find myself talking to myself

2006-10-07T18:33:00.000-07:00

i found me talking to myself. at here.

http://www.findthoughts.com/

=.= like i type in the question and there will be a response. and i started talking to myself, which is like =.= lol.

Ways to Annoy Santa Claus

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. :("
Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

LOL.

well thats just random stuffs i found online.

this is a list of things to do when u are bored.

http://www.boredthings.com/

i am so boreded.

did a random drawing on hypocrites today. gave to shawn.

haha. tuo jiu nu wang and shuai shang guo wang =D

a meme

2006-10-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

(1) I found this experiment at http://iforgot-.-.blogspot.com

(2) I found this meme on date (day/month/year): 10/07/06

(3) I found this meme at time (24 hour time): 20.56

(4) I found it via “Searching the Web”

(5) I posted this Meme at my URL: http://thecraps.blogspot.com/

(6) I posted this on date (day/month/year): refer to qn2.

(7) I posted this at time (24 hour time): 20.58?.32

(8) My posting location is (city, state, country): US

(9) My blog is hosted by: blogger.com

(10) My age is: 15

(11) My gender is: Female

(12) My occupation is: student and a part time translater

(13) I use the following RSS/Atom reader software: Mozilla Firefox

(14) I use the following software to post to my blog: Blogger

(15) I have been blogging since (day, month, year): once upon a time?

(16) My web browser is: Mozilla Firefox

(17) My operating system is: W XP

(18) I am now using these applications: Mozilla Firefox

(19) I want to do this after i blogged this: study advanced algebra 2. and figure out that absolute value graph. =.=

(20) I want these people to do this meme: Sam? Daniel T? Yuying? Unique? uh. and anyone else.

2006-10-05T17:35:00.000-07:00

when all my feelings are being ignored by you.
when all the jealousy doesnt matter anymore.
when my heart start to be numb again.
when everything seems to be fading away.
thats when i need you the most.
BUT YOU ARE NEVER AROUND. NEVER

i guess nths gd abt me. and i am good in nth too. and the praises are faked; no one admires me out of good intentions. like they say you are good and then will stab you to death. what hypocrites.

i hate this world. i really do.

why do we have to face this kind of things for our entire life and then end up in the cold and dark coffin?

there is no talent in me.
there is no speciality in me.
there is no good things in me.

if only you konw how i really feel.

really.

2nd.

2006-10-04T17:55:00.000-07:00

well this is the 2nd post of tonight. there is one further down after this post. yea.

Soundtrack of your life

Opening Credits: take me away by avril lavigne

Waking Up Scene: dum diddly by black eyed peas

Car Driving Scene: mockingbird by emin3m.

High School Flashback Scene: are we the waiting by green day

Nostalgic Scene: london bridge by fergie

Bitter, Angry Scene: my happy ending by avril lavigne

Break-up Scene: lets get it started -.- by black eyed peas

Agony scene: rain man by emin3m

Regret Scene: puke by emin3m

Nightclub/Bar Scene: boulevard of broken dreams by green days

Fight/Action Scene: forgotten by avril lavingne

Lawn Mowing Scene: wake me up when september ends

Sad, breakdown scene: together by avril lavingne

Death Scene: letterbomb by green days -.-

Funeral Scene: wei ni si de lei by david tao. one of my favs.

Mellow/Pot-smoking Scene: slipped away by avril again.

Dreaming About Someone Scene: I believe......-.- the korean version.

Sex Scene ( eww!): o.0 this is weird. I believe the chinese version. -.-

Contemplation Scene: i wish i kneew. mariah carey.

Chase Scene: last drop by black eyed peas

Happy Love Scene: i dont wanna know by blackeyedpeas.

Happy Friend Scene: ping jun lu piano collection no 2 -.-

Closing Credits: move ya body by black eyed peas

=.= okay i ve done enough today -.-

the name meme =|

2006-10-04T17:37:00.000-07:00

1.YOUR PORN STAR NAME
(name of first pet + street you live on):
birdie warren?!

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(grandmother's/father's first name + favorite snack)
minggang potato chips?!

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME
(first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant)
new testament KFC. -.-

4. YOUR SOCIALITE NAME
(silliest childhood nickname + first town where you partied):
bei singapore

5. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME
(first initial + first three letters of your last name)
agon

6. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME
(favorite animal + name of high school):
doggie lakewood?

7. YOUR BARFLY NAME
(last snack food you ate + your favorite drink)
classicmix berry juice

8. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME
(middle name + city where you were born):
zizhao qingdao

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME
(favorite candy + favorite musician's last name):
mentos chopin

10. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME
(name of [opposite sex] friend + cell phone company you use):
Shawn idontknow.

11. YOUR STAR WARS NAME
(first 3 letters of your last name + last 3 letters of mother's maiden name)
goncloud.

okay thats like complete craps.

well i had an extremely bad week so far.
he is so good. and i dont feel good about it. like when he started playing i just went silent and walked away. its not the matter of jealousy; its just the feeling inside of me that tells me its not right. like, it kept blaming me for being so bad in music myself; like kept discouraging me from going on; like kept saying that you cant do it; like kept saying that you wont be like him, no matter how hard you try.

so i hereby declare that i am so bad in piano that i nearly burst into tears. sounds ridiculous but it happened.

so i went to see my councillor; and she was like you dont look good today. i was like yeaa. then she was like, are you sad? then i was like , yeaaa. then i burst into tears.

lol.

but eventually after my lunch i felt better. issit a mental disorder that food makes u feel better?

i dont know. im just too doooted out thats all.
depression? =|

Single, taken or crushing?
in between single and crushing.

Are you happy with your life now?
not really.

When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him fast?
kind of?

Have you ever had your heart broken?
yeaa.

Do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
uh i dont know. i dont think so barhs.

Have you talk about marriage with another before?
Yeaaaaaaaa...................?

Do you want children?
well. it depends.

How many?
2?3? 127??!!!

Would you consider adoption?
nah.

If someone likes you right now, what do you think is the best way to let you know his feelings?
talk.

Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
i dont know.

Be honest, what is the furthest you and your ex did?
*************************************

Do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.

Are you romantic?
kind of.

Do you believe you can change someone?
Yes. But difficult. very very difficult.

If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?
mars?

Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
very much. coughs.

Do you have feelings for someone right now?
refer to the first question.

Have you ever broken a heart?
yeaa.

If one day your best friend falls in love with the guy you are deeply in love with, what would you do?
shima e......

Are you missing someone now?
not really...

Now you'll have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.
Write down their names in the list below.
those who <3 me and stickman =D

randomness.

2006-09-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

Which song reminds you of your parents?
you raise me up-westlife

Which songs remind you of your friends?
ohmygawd. i dont know.
xinmin school song. lol.
singapore national anthem.
rah.
JOY TO THE WORLD.
sightreading.

List 5 songs you're into now.
1) I believe
2) Tong Hua
3) Unbelievable
4) norcture
5) sonate

State 5 friends and state which song which friend reminds you of.
1) yuying-you are beautiful xD
2) weihui-xue sheng xin tiao from xinmin story. haha weihui.
3) sam-unbelievable
4) mt-go the distance?!
5) nicole-hokey pokey(is that the name for the sec1 orientation dance we did?lol i taught her and she went hyper everytime.)

Name 10 songs you have on your MP3/MP4.
1) endless love
2) fortminor- in stereo
3) Fort minor- right now
4) bad day-??
5) addicted-kelly clarkson
6) breaking the habit-linkin park
7) my december-linkin park
8) hips dont lie?!-shikara
9) incomplete-backstreet boys
10) olia-david tao

Lastly, choose five people to do this quest ~
Preferably,
1) yuying
2) weihui?
3) unique
4) langston?
5) yapning?!

PHOTOS! =D

2006-09-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

YO PPL! haha. i am BACK. x)

anw. i brought back photos for you all! just click on the links below:

singapore

LAX-LAS-CLE

yes! =))

today cnt blog much. just shoo-ed mom for bathing. like after SO long.

sorry peeps. had a problem with the power so cnt update. but yea. will upload more!

(one flickr account already overflows =x)

see ya!

i miss you all.

(mt is <333!)

i dream of you every single night.

the GUITAR craving!

2006-09-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

lol. i am blogging as i am playing the guitar. or rather, HUGGING a guitar. cos i am crazy abt guitar those days. and i m kinda improving! =DDDDD xDDDDD

okayy. lol. how nonsensible.

anyways. i was doing the translation work right? and it killed zillions of my brain cells and i only left with 136 cells and if i think somemore, im going RETARDED. i am SERIOUS.

LOL.

(i hate my face now. its so, obscene.)

okay.

i love my new camera! its so cool!!!!! =DDDD

okay =.=

today went to PS with WH, SL, FELCHUA. yea. met val and gracie and val lim? and xinyu there too. then val t was wearing PINK!

later then blog. gonna do sth.

2006-09-02T06:41:00.000-07:00

shall upload the photos later. =.=

anw. my lifes kinda boring cos everyday is simply two words. PACKING UP.

bored!

rahhs.

not in a blogging mood.

sam: sorry for opening your letter so early =x but THANKS FOR THE BOOKMARK! IT WAS SO SWEEEET. =)) yea. thanks for giving me all the sweet memories! times are hard and we've gone thru it =DD and we had so much fun together. laughs. haiz. so sad that i am ~~leaving~~ you. cries. thanks again. thanks SO much. loves loves! <333

val: thanks for being my DARLING ! and thanks for being there for me. loves loves.<333

gracie: thanks for peiing me everywhere =x i know i m kinda uh. not independent o.0lol. thanks for being my friend! =DD loves loves.<333

rachel: dont cry for me my dear rachel; the truth is i never left you! haha. anw. yea we crazed together! and stuffs. and yea! =D take care! loves loves! <333

mt: haha. thanks for understanding me! like, yea. may the Lord be with you! loves loves! <333

langston: haha. didi take care! (help me take care of rachie.thanks) yea. lol. <333

to the special YOU. im leaving. ironically its there too. same as her. hahas. thanks for giving me all the sweet memories. thanks for giving me all the cares then. thanks for everything that you ve given me. ~~i know i love you. but i just cant love anymore.~~ take care, will ya? =)) smiles. hahas.

Always said I would know where to find love
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough
But sometimes I just felt I could give up
But you came and you changed my whole world now
I'm somewhere I've never been before
Now I see
What love means

It's so unbelievable
And I don't wanna let it go
Its something so beautiful
Flowin down like a waterfall
I feel like you've always been
Forever a part of me
And it's so unbelievable
To finally be in love
Somewhere I never thought I'd be

In my heart in my head it's so clear now
hold my hand you've got nothin' to fear now
I was lost and you've rescued me somehow
I'm alive I'm in love you complete me
And I've never been here before
Now I see
What love means

When I think of what I have
And this chance I nearly lost
I can't help but break down and cry
oooh yeah break down and cry

Now I see
What love means

with love; dedicated to -YOU (:

yawns.

oh i am translating this thing that earns me $200 . and there is another assignment that kills my brain. and i dont know how much it is =.= rahhs. translating kills. even though someone was hating me for being so good in both languages. coughs. i failed my HMT test! hahas. hint, hint. lol.

loving you still. but i cant love anymore.

now even smiling hurts; cos i used to smile for you.

you.

xD

2006-08-28T04:46:00.000-07:00

You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list.

You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year.

Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good.

Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?

2006-08-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

after eating. lol. coco; unknown uncle -.-; bro gan; mom.
after dinner. unknown uncle; me; bro gan; coco mother; mom.
me; coco mom.

yy zi lianing with me punching her face -.-
my darling jamie and me with a umbralla as a dian deng pao xD
wh and yy <333

the 4 of us =D
we painting in the toilet. sherina; kailin; joey.

kailin toiling x)
the three girls =)

joey
kailin; cassandra; sandra; wan shi ting
the 90% completed drawing in the girls toilet near the security guards.
sherina.
a random drawing on the wall o.0

well.

sigh.

take care. i just want you to know that i love you no more. when i had already lost my hope in u. sorry. dont look at me during meeting anymore. God has already prepared the way for you. take care. sorry i cant take it anymore. sorry.

lol.

2006-08-21T04:55:00.000-07:00

001: Real Name - anna gong zz
002. Nickname - anna, zak-zak, zizi? stickman -.-
003. Single or taken - single
004. Zodiac Sign - Aquirius
005. Male or Female - female
006. Elementary School - zhonghua.
007. Ipod - mini.
008. How many buddies on your list - msn? uh 334.
009. friendster name - anna
010. Hair Color - Black, sometimes dark brown? ???
012. Hair Long or Short - long.
014. Eye Color - dark brown
015. Are you health freak - not really.
016. Height - unrevealed.
017. Do you have a crush on someone - currently, not.
018. Do you like yourself - yes? (rachel screams: SI ZI LIAN =.=)
019. Braces? - no.
020. Think you're awesome? - so not.
021. Piercings - none.
022. Tattoo - none. i like to draw on my ankle though.

Your 'Firsts'
024. Surgery - i dont want T_T
025. First piercing - none yet.
026. First best friend - never had a real best friend.
027. First Award - ermmmm. some speech thingy in kindergarten.
028. First Sport You Joined - swimming.
029. First pet - fish.
030. First vacation - i cant remember -.-
031. First Concert - some orchestra when i was 10. or 9. or 8.
032. First love - p4.

Favorites
033. Favorite movie - don't ask stupid questions like that. there's too many movies.
034. Favorite tv show - i hate TV.
035. Color - black. white.
036. Music - sad songs? slow. like . uh. like. i dont know. i like fort minor for now. dont know why.
039. Drink - tea. i need tea right now.
040. Body part not on the face - =O what do u mean?
041. Cartoon - tom and jerry??
042. Favorite piece of clothing - don't have a favorite.
043. Brand Of Clothing - no favorite.
044. What do you sleep with - a star. lol.
045. Favorite School - zhonghua.
046. Favorite Animal(s) - i dont know. dogs?
047. Favorite Book - nicholas sparks?
048. Favorite Magazine - dont know. -.-

currently
049. Eating - nothing.
050. I'm drinking - air.
052. I'm about to - shower.
053. Listening to - silence.
055. Waiting For - this to end.
056. Watching - my flashing adium icon.
057. Wearing - a shirt and shorts.

Your Future
058. Want Kids - probably.
059. Want to Get Married - see 058.
060. Careers in Mind - artist? musician?

Which is better with the Opposite Gender
068. Lips or Eyes - eyes
069. Hugs or Kisses - hugs
070. Shorter or Taller - taller.
072. Romantic or Spontaneous - romantic
073. Nice stomach or nice arms - ?
074. Sensitive or Loud - sensitive.
075. Hook-up or Relationship - relationship
076. Sweet or Caring - caring.
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant - none.

Have you ever
078. Kissed a Stranger - no.
079. Drank bubbles - no.
080. Lost glasses/contacts - think so. lol.
081. Ran Away From Home - yeaa.
082. Broken a bone - plenty of times.
083. Got an X-ray - refer to 082.
084. Broken Someone's Heart - i dont know =X
086. Turned Someone Down - maybe.
087. Cried When Someone Died - probably.
088. Cried at school - yea.

Do You Believe In
089. God - yes.
090. Miracles - yes.
091. Love at first sight - yeaa.
093. Aliens - i have no idea. o.0
094. Magic - no.
095. Heaven - heaven exists but we don't go to heaven. heaven is where God rules. amen.
096. Santa Claus - nah.lol?
097. Sex on the first date - i believe it happens.*coughs*
098. Kissing on the First Date - doot.
099. Angels - definitely.

Answer Truthfully
100. Is There someone You Want To be with right now? - yes and no.

weihui.... dont be sad... we will still keep in contact yea? you shalnt be sad. or i ll slap you =P

nthness

2006-08-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

this is the picture (incompleted) in the 1st floor girls toilet. we painted it! and it was exciting! and fun! and tiring -.- thank you to kailin, sok loon, ye feng, sin kuan, sherina and joey! for helping me! =DDD
these are two balloons i saw in raffles place mrt station. like kinda pathetic la, a child happily holding the balloons and lost hold of it and the balloons flies up to the sky and the adults cnt catch it and the child was sad and crying and etc. and after they are gone, i saw the two balloons and took this photo. uh. nvm. i am just talking to myself.

SINKUAN'S STUPID FACE. taken by ye feng. xDD but its kinda funny la.

teh was crying in gen office on friday, according to a certain student.
woots.

2006-08-15T02:24:00.000-07:00

i drew this on unique's table. during hmt la. cos it was so boring -.- haven complete yet though; continue step by step during each hmt lesson. hahas. xD

updates.
well . actually there is nth to update la. i really got choked when i saw the result that i am a expert kisser?????? LOL. which is quite funny in its own way. hahas.

i love my sketch book! =D

erm. oh ya. i practically screwed up my piano serving last sunday la. someone called up 700+ and i was stunned down there trying to figure out the tune. craps.

lets nt talk abt it.

then i got nth to talk abt le.

tmr got choir!

today rachel nvr come to sch.

today i cried in class cos of that teh. BEEEETCH. insulted my nationality nia. puting shame on you all singaporeans. though i wont really change my opinions about singaporeans jus cos of her. but yet. i am very bu shuanged and i am officially determined to do sth about her. i wont waste my tears. i will not.

maybe i shall go get some sleep.

-.- some more.

2006-08-14T03:40:00.000-07:00

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest:

You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you.

At Your Lowest:

You require a lot of attention and praise.

In Love:

You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are.

How You're Attractive:

You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic.

Your Eternal Question:

"Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's Your Power Color?

You Are 16% Happy

You know that there's more to life than how you've been living it.
Life can be rough at times, but most of your unhappiness is self-inflicted.

How Happy Are You?

You are 60% Aquarius

How Aquarius Are You?

Your Stress Level is: 71%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now.
Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out.
Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.

How Stressed Are You?

somemore randomness.

2006-08-14T03:00:00.000-07:00

Your 1950s Name is:

Gwendolyn Renee

What's your 1950s Name?

Your Hair Should Be White

Classy, stylish, and eloquent.
You've got a way about you that floors everyone you meet.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 69% Pure

For you, kissing isn't a casual thing

Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

Kissing Purity Test

You May Be a Bit Histrionic...

Dramatic and over the top, you crave attention.
And you'll do anything it takes to get noticed.
You love to be seductive, even when it's inappropriate.
If you're ignored, you're easily hurt ... and act out even more!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

=O i am attention seeking?! =x

Your Birthdate: January 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet.
Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings.
You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments.
You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action.

Your strength: Your vivid imagination

Your weakness: Fear of failure

Your power color: Coral

Your power symbol: Oval

Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

=DD i love my birthday. lol.

coughs. this one . -.-

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

-.--.--.-

Your Mood Ring is Light Blue

Emotions mixed
Unsettled
Cool

Mood Ring Generator

o.0

Who Should Paint You: Andy Warhol

You've got an interested edge that would be reflected in any portrait
You don't need any fancy paint techniques to stand out from the crowd!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

You Are 60% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist.
You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

How Cynical Are You?

Your Seduction Style: The Charismatic

You're beyond seductive, you're downright magnetic!

You life live and approach seduction on a grand scale.

You have an inner self confidence and energy that most people lack

It's these talents that make you seem extraordinary - and you truly are!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

You Have Low Self Esteem 72% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not.
You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

How is Your Self Esteem?

Your Italian Name Is...

Imelda Lombardi

What's Your Italian Name?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.
In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!
And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.
Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are 7 Up

Understated and subtle, people warm up to you slowly.
But once they're hooked, they can't imagine going back to anyone else!

Your best soda match: Diet Coke

Stay away from: Mountain Dew

What Kind of Soda Are You?

Your Luck Quotient: 41%

You have an average luck quotient.
There's been times when you've been extremely lucky... but also times when you've been very unlucky.
You probably know that you can make your own luck in life, if you're open to it.
So listen to your intuition as much as you can. It's right more often than you might expect.

How Lucky Are You?

randomness.

2006-08-14T02:42:00.000-07:00

Your Emoticon is Grumpy

Maybe you're having a bad day... or maybe something just upset you. Either way, you're definitely seeing red!

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You're both aloof, introverted, and moody.
And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

2006-08-01T02:42:00.000-07:00

It's the last night on earth

Before the great divide

My hands are shaking time was

Never on our side

There's no such thing

As a beautiful goodbye

As an ordinary day

I prayed for you a thousand times

It's never enough

No matter how many times

I try to tell you this is love

If tomorrow never comes

I want you to know right now that I

I'm gonna love you until the day I die

And if tomorrow falls asleep

Can you hold me first

I'm gonna love you like

It's the last night on earth

Like it's the last night on earth

A penny for your thoughts

A picture so it'll last

Lets knock down the walls of immortality

Your fingers on my skin

Only you can hear my fear

Only you can help me heal

I see forever with you here

It's never enough

No matter how many miles stand between us

This is love

If tomorrow never comes

I want you to know right now that I

I'm gonna love you until the day I die

And if tomorrow falls asleep

Can you hold me first

I'm gonna love you like

It's the last night on earth

Like it's the last night on earth

It's never enough, no

It's never enough

The afterglow

And the bright sunlight

The shadows fall

Will you still be mine?

I askIf tomorrow never comes

I want you to know right now that I

I'm gonna love you until the day I die

(And if tomorrow falls asleep)

'Til the day I die

Can you hold me first

I'm gonna love you like

It's the last night on earth

Like it's the last night on earth

It's the last night on earth

It's never enough

last night on earth-delta goodrem

titleless.

2006-08-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

i suddenly dont feel a single thing.

i know it isnt right.

finished the novel p.s.i love you today. happy ending, sad storyline. worthy reading.

cried at ending. got suddenly reminded of every single memory i had with him. and it really hurts.

thats when i came to know that i still love him . deep down my heart.

~~i dreamt of him and me tgt last night.~~

i am still thinking of you when i am feeling lonely.
i am still secretly missing you when i told other ppl that i am perfectly fine.
i am still pretending that i am fine though i am not.
i am still struggling in the sea of tears.
i am still trying my best to let you go.
i am still holding on to the little ray of hope.
i am still making wishes that one fine day you may be back.

but i know. you never will.

what can i do.

and please. if you are ever reading my blog. even though i know its impossible already. please. cheer up and enjoy your life. your life should be more brilliant and more funfilled without me. really. enjoy. please. it just hurts to see you being upset. it just hurts to hear you say life sucks.

i still remember everything you said.
every single word.
every single promise.
even the most hurting word.
somethings you shall never know.
there is still a folder full of your messages.
every single one of them.
there is one particular note written for you.
it records down every single detail i know about you.
i think i am crazy.
but what can i do.
being so lovesicked.
i know i shouldnt .
i know i should have moved on.
yes. life is still going on.
but its just going on around me.
my life is pointless. if you ever had noticed.

"can you try not to think of me from now on? i mean for the sake of everyone. no its just for the better. i dont want to give you any false ideas anymore. find someone that will take care of you better than i do; thats the nicest way i can put it, even though im that evil. dont get too upset k? i couldnt tell that to you in person the other time. very sorry."

thanks for even telling me that.
these words are the most hurting ones of them all.
i think. i shall just smile and walk away.
yea.
cos would you even care anymore?

i guess. not.

((:

i have my bleeding heart/crying to itself/numb/who else cared

welcome back.

2006-07-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

dedicated to you.
lol. used to have this kinda pictures on my laptop as desktop. xD taken in asthetics room .

the random message from the moon. drawn after the fishtank broke(inside joke). yea. now with steph.

coughs. this kinda funny. saw it in 2nd hand books shop. laughed.

this is a nice wallet i saw in indo . wanted so much to buy it! =x but in the end dint la. so took a photo for memorial purposes. lol.

all kinda stuffs selling in indo church bookstore.

a retarded looking KFC man. without his specs. xD

sis winnie's piano with dorothy's hand.

ya. this is the body sized photo for that man. funny looking though.

this is my class's paint the sch project design. its kinda my style and i think you can tell. laughs.

someone tou-paied me. and i dint know =.= was in the choir room with mingtings phone.

this is one of the RARE zilian photos i have in my phone. note that i nowadays rareliy zilians. hmmm.
i dont think i need to explain much abt this one. LOL.

some nagetive light shining on my phone camera. kinda nice rights? =D

LOL. yea. cme and hmt produces very good products of boredom.

i guess its time. to let you go. using hypermood to cover up the wound inside my heart. you dont have to care.
its just like. you walk into a party. get all high and hyper and everything. smile and laugh for all you can. and when it ended. you walk out. under the lonely yellow light. thats when you noticed that you are alone. all by yourself now.

cheer me up.

happy birthday pei yu! you are a great senior to me =D lols. yea. smile on!=DD

yea man. i cant be any better.

2006-07-10T03:07:00.000-07:00

i hate it.
i really hate it.
why do you have to do this to me?
i dont understand. i really dont.
i know you tried to put it like, less hurting
but yet i cant bear this killing
its too acrimonious to me
and i cant see clearly
of what the fcuk is going on around me

your cruelty has hurt me
your face stabbed me
your words are like the sharpest blade
slicing my heart away

anyway it has already ended
my hope has also faded
its overall a nightmare
why do you have to care
in the end this whole thing leads
to nothing else but death

please . tell me why you even wanna say it to me.
but at least. i dont have to break my promise .
its already feeling numb. maybe you shalnt worry too.
why do i even care abt how you feel still? when everything has already broken into pieces.

LALA. i cant be any better.
( as if. (: )

i dont really understand it dear
i still remember all the sweet moments we shared
why did it all suddenly ended
i guess i will never understand

you never let me know the reason
i suppose it will remain as the mystery
its really okay, i told myself
because it will never be the same

LaLaLa singing to myself
all the infatuation of you
LaLaLa singing to myself
imagining all the moments of us together
though knowing it will never happen
again

it has stopped at the intersection
my feelings faded and my heart is numb
all the pain will be relieved one day
and that day shall be
eternity

hurt and cried. no one cared.

"whatever you do, please dont doubt the love i have for you. all these days are like a long long dream, i dont want to wake up. if i really had to , i hope the ending of the dream is death and death alone. and i really want to know if you love me. please do not doubt about the love i am having for you, however, that i see no poiint of me continuing this relationship like this when i am not even sure if you ever loved me. i do hope to continue, but i really wish you understand that i cannot do it alone. i need you."
--adapted from message in hp archive, saved 11 05 41pm 310506

dear. maybe i still love you. even though you might not understand. i had strived on for so long. but for your sake, i am willing to give up. cos i love you still.

sianzation.

2006-06-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

haiz. so busy those days . preparing to move house liao..

man.

i dont like hougang. i dont like uhm, yishun. i dun like to near school de. etcetc.
and i need that place to be big enuf to put my pianoo.

well. maybe i am quite picky.

[to ion.heyys. miss ya. btw. ur dad sent me a freaking message that reads " he(you) is no good. he has just received warning letter from school. his music teacher thinks that he could likely to fail his coming music exam . for the L's sake and testimony, its too early my dear. do remember your recent consecreation. fatherly love, brother DOOOT*urfathersname* i will tell no one about this. be good. the L love you. we too." sigh.. u noe what. i dun even know if u l me.. and i dont see the point we continue to be like that if i am the only one bearing about the waiting process. i need to talk to u. i really need to talk to ya. um. please. i need u to bear this tgt wif me, just like the last time, when we promised each other to face it together.. do u still remember? haiz.. -ur evil girl]

cries. missing one kills.

hmm. yawns. i m him.

got really freaked out cos of his fathers message. almost cried. i dunno wat to do =(

like, haiz.

"But i still love you.."thats one excerpt from uh, the Aladdin musical. yea. me still rmbs =D lol.

well. its quite REMINDING me of some PEOPLE. FCUk.

sorry.

i already watched mi3 poseidon xman3 overtheHEDGE etcetc. and its like so LOL cos me dint really watch whats happening in front of me. all thanks to my naughty boy :))

hee =))

um. haiz. ilu. imu.
yesterday is two weeks liao le.. why does ppl want to break us up when its only bloody two weeks?

i wonder.
wish me happiness.

ilumydear ;

cries.

2006-05-24T04:34:00.000-07:00

sabo-ed by samuel's sister. -.-

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. The tagged victims have to come up with eight different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover. (duh.)
3. Tag eight other victimes to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there's no need to do this AGAIN.
5. Lastly, most importantly, HAVE. FUN. DOING. IT!

------------------------------------
righhtttt.
okay. do i describe abt him?
its a he. HE.
hmm.
1. he mus be caring.
2. he mus noe how to joke wif me.
3. he mus be taller than me -.-
4. he mus be talented.
5. he mus noe at least 1 musical instrument.
6. he mus have a nice voice.
7. he mus treasure me.
8. he mus love me.

-.- okay finished. -.--.--.- now i am like diaonging like crazy la.

lol.

-----------------------------

and btw mr sth, ilu is not i lick u -.- lol.

uoyssimi+uoyevoli___

nothingness

2006-05-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

haiz.

her overprotectiveness is back.

her oversensitiveness is back.
haiz.
what to do.

-.-

will b so busy this hol. yet uh, dont know what to say.

forget it.

haizz.

2006-05-17T05:21:00.000-07:00

haiz. i am strongly against e learning days.

=.=

please lah. like treating us like small kindergarten kids and crashing our confidence upon seeing the pathetic little mark that we have got and cry to ourselves actually meant nothing to you. right?

hmmm.

let me update.

. my stickman is dying.
. um. yea i noe mid year is over and i FLUNKed it.
. i HATE people who force me to stuffs.
. yea baby. i am in love.
. i dont give a damn.
. stucked at end of 1st page for that chopin song.
. watched mi3 with d, d and e.
. watched poseidon with e.
. poseidon is seriously boring. like, i prefer titanic than poseidon can. -.-
. i know people are sick and tired of titanic and yet i still prefer it to poseidon. =.= =.=
. i AM IN LOVE.
. fine. i do.
. FINE. i admit that i have an attitude problem and i dont know what to do about it. what do you want me to be huh? the old self who is fulfilled with sadness and depression and wants to kill herself EVERY SINGLE SECOND? please. you wont understand how much had i gone through. and dont bother to because i dont understand what the FCUK is wrong with you too. forget it.
. i dont want to say anymore.

okay fine. let me elaborate.

please. i dont like being forced. neither do you right. when you were(maybe you are still) in love with that guy, you are indeed obscessed with him do you know that? and i am bearing your complete ~~craps~~ severe obscession with him and i am the one who gave you a listening ear right. but look at the FCUKING fact now. i am now the one in love and drowning in my damned confusion and no one, NO FREAKING ONE is understanding me. i cant say they dint try-they did but indeed they failed and they just gave up and post posts everywhere, even putting in their WISHLISTS, hoping me to STOP LOVING HIM AND TURN BACK. you know what, i cant control my feelings. i dont care if it is LOVE or pure INFATUATION, i just like him . so what. i go out with him. so what. and NO i am not flirting; i am just being myself. i can tell you that i feel comfortable with him. do you know that? people stay with you all and feel so tensed up. that sucks. and you dont know and still throwing your FCUKING ATTITUDES around at people. i, however, did not say moodswings are not logical because me too, being a teenage girl, have moodswings. and yet i dont tend to spill all my angers and frustrations AT people you know. and you are behaving like everything is MY freaking fault. while its not. think about it yourself. give me that freaking smile and say you love me. SHUDDUP.

sigh.

okay . i am going ice skating nxt week. and i dont know how to ice skate =x issit hard???

i dont know how did i managed to survive on. with frens telling me diff ways to do diff things.
a likes b while b want time to sort out its feelings. and while waiting for b, a met c who is exceptionally nice to a. and they went out tgt, alone and with people, and a dont know what to do. a went arnd to ask ppl and those are the ans a got.

doot: i dont know.
doot: i dont give a damn man.
doot: i hate him.
doot: can you stop loving people and go back to the old self?
doot: i think you should just stop.
doot: you are being UNFAITHFUL!!!

and yet a is still confused as usual. so weird huh.

i want to marry my piano!! xDD

well. maybe not laa. o.0

so weird. okay.

the EMPTINESS in my heart DOUBTS the love i have for you____

nthness.

2006-04-30T22:58:00.000-07:00

haiz.

no inspirations whatsoever.

left undone: art, art, art, art, art, art, art, physics file.

SIANS.

yawns.

k. updates.

. served piano. successfully . or maybe u say its not cos i was stucked at 2 songs. =.=
. piano lesson cancelled for no particular reason whatsoever.
. at least i still got time ba.
. now playing: moonlight sonata
. stucked at 2nd page 3rd line.
. i notice i got this stupid habit of consuming non stop when i am feeling nervous or anxious or nothingness. especially fried spicy food. oh my gawd. it might be a mental disease =x
. now listening: Christina Aguilara - can't hold us down.
. overall i am still a nice person?
. am i ?
. i love him. but he will never know.
. pitying deffany who likes this guy who is nicked sushi.
. yesterday found sushi's photos in my com -.- and gave to deffany who was somehow delighted -.-
. i dont like rap.

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me,
they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars
fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me,
they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

its such a nice song. thanks mr elijah the pro. lol =P

. noticed that i have this habit of saying oh its not good for your health whenever i cannot find a reason. or excuse . or whatsoever.

(i miss you i miss you i miss you) to the power of infinity.

haiz.

oh my . there are so many people left unlinked by me . SO SORRY.

laziness indeed kills.

i miss my stickman. does he miss me?

youth camp. choir. CLASH. suey arh.

indeed i still have passion for mathematics. whatever.

dalada~

i am having this neutral state of feeling that makes me feel rather special =)

no titleness

2006-04-28T00:38:00.000-07:00

okay. sam stop saying no updates. there is an update.

=.=

anw.

to update.

. my screen is stroking. -.-
. thanks mr ELIJAH for encouraging me. =) cheerios.
. him.
. exams are coming. indeed its nxt friday. and i dint noe until like, yesterday.
. today is a friday.
. tmr i am serving piano for children.
. on Lords day i might be serving piano also.
. i am sick and tired.
. i want to skip school but i cannot.
. i hate non intelligent people.
. yes i do hate bimbos and himbos btw
. today is mingting's birthday.
. today i am feeling terribly bored.
. i finished my meaninglesscrappy book volume 2 on thursday. and this morning my darling val presented the 3rd book to me and i am like laughing non stop. x)
. at this rate my inspiration comes, i would probably finish volume 3 after a week.
. i haven start revising yet.
. i miss him.
. i miss him.
. i am stucked between two guys.
. and i dont really care.
. i dint talk to samuel for quite long le.
. rachels behaving a bit weird today. cheerios =)
. i <3 ppl like yvette and yuenling and nathalie and another girl and another girl whom i dont know the name =X sorryyy.
. laziness kills.
. i haven do my 2.4 yet. pray for me -.-
. i am in a great lack of sleep.
. i am having my first piano lesson with mr ong. the pro . =.= hope he dont read my blog if not he will slap me -.-
. wait for me to think more.

i wonder how many ppl indeed like my stickmans. please do tag if u do. hahas.

i love u.

the NOTHINGNESS

2006-04-17T06:08:00.000-07:00

lol. finally got the chance to blog. itsnt it a nice thing?

lol.

xDD

and ya. -.- i dont know what to say exactly but well. i suppose i am like, HAPPY? cos of :

well.

. keiladoscope is OVER.
. sports day is over
. homecomingday is over
. i had finished my MEANINGLESSCRAPPYBOOK volume 1 xD

i am unhappy beacause :

. him
. i have just started my MEANINGLESSCRAPPYBOOK volume 2. and no inspiration is hitting me whatsoever.
. things are happening randomly that is without my expectation.
. the damned exams are coming up and i haven started revising =x
. yawn. i am lacking of sleep.

etc.

well. quite alot things happened, i suppose. and i am not really giving my heart in cos, i dont know why? and ya.

and. u know what.

i had just go the book of THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and i love it i love it i love it so much that i cant get my eyes off it =x and OHMYDOTS(in replacement of ohmygawd for the sake of my senior, mr anthony yoong) LOL it is like, very nice cos i DONT really UNDERSTAND a thing -.- a bit weird la right.

u can laugh, i dont really mind. go on. laugh. laugh for all you can. LOL.

oh. btw. i told him la. then he was shocked. and thats all i can tell u. hint u to guess who he is and u will never get it cos i am not going to tell u xD

LOL.

nvm.

and yes i am so happy for u rachel =D

etc.

things are indeed left undone and yet i dont have the time for it and OH MY GAWD i dont really know what to do.

laugh? haha.

well. so far , i have typed quite mcuh i suppose and i dont really know what i am talking about. maybe it is just intended to be my craps. that no one can indeed understand. lol?

thats it?

word for the day--- uh. trapped in the rain?

yawns.

2006-04-11T04:56:00.000-07:00

cries and cries and cries.

i dont konw.

this morning i told him that i like him..

he was taken aback but we are still frens ba..

i dont know what do that mean.

someone guide me please.

PLEASE.

nothing inspires me.

2006-02-27T23:41:00.000-08:00

A boy and a girl,the best of friends.From elementary to high schoolfrom beginning to end.
Through all those yearstheir friendship grew.They both felt the same,but neither knew.
Each waking momentsince the day they met.They both loved each othersunrise to sunset.
He was all she hadin her terrible life.He was the onewho kept her from her knife.
She was his angel,she made him smile.Though life threw him curves,she made it all worth while.
Then one daythings went terribly wrong.The next few weekswere like a very sad song.
He made her jealouson purpose he tried.When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"on purpose he lied.
He played with jealousylike it was a game.Little did he knowThings would never be the same.
His plan was workingbut he had no clue.How wrong things would go,the damage he would do.
One night she broke down,feeling very alone.Just her and the blade,no one else home.
She dialed his number,he answered, "Hello"She told him she loved himand hung up the phone.
He raced to her housejust a minute too late.Found her lying in blood,her heart had no rate.
Beside her was a note,in it her confession.Her love for this boy,her only obsession.
As he read the note,he knelt down and cried.Grabbed her knife,that night they both died.
She was found in his arms,both of them dead.Under her notehis handwriting said:
"I loved her so,she never knew.All this timeI loved her too."

saddening right.

sigh.

maybe i am wrong from the beginning.

nothing inspires me.

nothing.

i lost my hope over you again. you and you alone.

should this be a happy post. but it sounds sad.

do i care?

i dont.

----------------------

i cut my hair! now its like yy and weihuis hair xD so CUTEE!! =x

aiya. what i talking.

yawn

2006-02-10T23:37:00.000-08:00

yawnnn.

=(

i think i have a serious problem dancing . maybe i am a dancing idiot? =x

hmmm.

2006-02-07T02:16:00.000-08:00

i just noticed when i cnt think of anything for my blog post title i will just put hmmm. i dunno how many posts has the same title x) thats funny. 0.0 maybe its not. -.- nvm.

i think i am just too sick and tired of this whole misunderstanding thing la. it hurts alot. and no one knows how i feel okay. sigh. so i decided to forgive, and forget. and i am NOT blaming anyone. dont worry. i am just in the EXTREME disgust of stalker. who basically spoils everything.

short post ((:

back =)

2006-02-06T02:01:00.000-08:00

backkk =))

i am tired can. only slept for 3 hours. =x then today was yawning to death. -.-

history test is killing me.

bio test suckks to HELL mann =(

missed 2 sessions of choreo but learnt from pinqi and sheila today. thanks guys =)
btw its DIFFICULT!! =x=x=x

in malaysia:

on bus. suddenly noticed that there is no light source in the dark dark night so i regret not reading the book which i borrowed from unique. but the stars are so nice! kinda reminds me of something. so saddening =(

then i shall not elaborate on the boring training.

then on the bus back. nearly went on the wrong bus when back from the toilet break. =x so blur u see =x then reached singapore together with phone saying 13 messages received -.- and i got this msg which is trying to explain the misunderstanding. sigh.

forget it. leave me alone to cry.

and btw i am now damn scared of whoever i am dancing with. the feeling of dancing is now gone. and it will never be back. because it is not the same anymore.

you HURT me. you told me that you dont want to hurt me. but that hurts EVEN MORE.

you people all hurt me. you wont know. it hurts. to be the last one to know the shocking truth. the problem is that, you people are used to it. those who spreaded the rumor are trying to act INNOCENT in front of me.

btw i am not blaming anyone. dont think that i am blaming you.

you either sort the thing out with me face to face, or change a partner. isnt it great to do that?

who knows.

forget it.
nightmares of this concerto thing. craps.

lols.

2006-01-30T05:43:00.000-08:00

i changed my blogskin =) nice rights! haha.

anw i think, when i find a nicer one, i will change again xD

yawn.

the chicken wings nice! =p

wednesday are we doing choreography? wondering how awkward it would be when i am dancing with chinyan.

AWKWARD to DEATH.

forget it.

=(

my BIRTHDAYY!

2006-01-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

hahas.

guess what day issit?

chinese new year.

YES. and?

?

my birthday. cum my mom's labouring anniversary. ?

? *after 3 years and 7 months* OHH!!! *the chi dun-ed sudden realization*

-.-

thanks mom for taking so much pain when giving me birth. *smiles*

lols.

*btw i bought 6 roses for valentines day. including a DARK RED. guess who it is for. =P*

okay. let me BLOG about today.

before that maybe i shall elaborate a bit on yesterday. lols.

i tried to make cookies yesterday ((: because we learnt during HE lesson. lols but i realized that i forgot everything =XXXXXXXXX so i jus go online and checked the receipe which turns out to be COMPLETE rubbish =P anw i did according what i remembered and it turns out that i am out of CHOCOLATES =( and i forgot the ratio of DOOT and flour. which means i basically forgot everything =XXXXXXX hhaahaas. but in the end it turns out to be nice! tastes like the imaginary taste of shepherds pie on the sec 1 HE textbook =P btw i added raisins instead of chocos. lol. healthier. and LOW FATS HAHAHAHAHHAAAA -.-

okay. lets start on today.

woke up this morning actually at 8. and then checked my phone. got 4 new msgs. but lazy to check and fell asleep again -.- until like 8.40 then i wake up. which is like very late for church becaues today there is the combined Lord's table meeting at Redhill meeting hall. lol. so rushed and etc, until we got into the bishan mrt and realized that we *me and mom* are TERRIBLY late. and then mom somehow got us out of the mrt without paying. ? --moral of the story: go and admire your mom. they rawk. -- then we got into the taxi. and etcetc on the way, then finally we reached. saw sis susan and her sister at the gate . so waited for her to go in together.

anw sis susan went in and said happy birthday and mary and elizabeth overheard it and said happy birthday too. then my mom and sister kuos went to the 3rd storey and we went up to the 4th. when i open the door i am RATHER SHOCKED to see only like, less than 10 ppl inside. its like, even ppl goes to taiwan for the conference, but shouldnt left like, so FEW lor. so weird. anw i went in and sat in the FRONT row. note that i RARELY do that okay. anw some brother said `can we sing hymn ***` and bro lac looked at me STRAIGHT lor. wa lao. birthday still need to serve piano. BUT I LIKE IT =PP anw i played lor. then people STREAMED in like siao. dint noe there is so much youths lor. o.O hee. then play and play and play. suddenly mom comes in and scared me =X she says she cnt find me lol *i was behind her lor in the lift. then she dint noe that i went up to the 4th storey lol* and she wan me translate for her. me says oh i am suddenly caught to play the piano. =X so she just went down laa. then got this song which i kept freaking out lor. pressed 3 notes while they are singing. and it gone all WRONG. no LUCK on my birthDAY. CHOIIII. =XX

after that i went down for lunch. lol. was HUNGRYED to DEATH. lol. then after i consume my chicken wing half way SUDDENLY daniel lim come and talks CRAP . then i nearly got CHOKED with my chicken bone in my mouth =X

d: elisha and WHOEVERISTHATICANNOTREMEMBER are leaving soon.
me: ha. really. =X i am GONNA MISS THEM.
d: ya lor. since 2004 so many ppl are GONE!
me: ya. like, elaine, they all. *cnt rmb anymore =X*
d: ya. and cindy. u noe cindy?
me: -.- *DUH.* ya i noe her.
d: and this year alot ppl will be gone also. albert, david kor, etc etc.
me: hmmm. *wanted to crap sth abt WE HAVE THE ACCENDED CHRIST SO WE MUST NOT BE DEPRESSED but dint say. lol* but anw after a few years we will be gone oso ma. =X
d: ya lor. tsk. so depressing.

then mary and elizabeth walk by again and mary SHOUTED again HAPPYBIRTHDAY and finally daniel REALIZED taht is my birthday -.- and he said HA REALLY TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAYY?? like, chidun -.- lols. anw i replied thanks and stuff. and then me went to sis susans house. to cele, to my surprise.

okay. then skipskipskip over the angbao part. then i ate this chicken wing which is ULTRAURBERSUPERINDESCRIBABLE NICE*winks at sam: a big L* and HEALTHY TOO *winks again: DOUBLE L* then got this relative came to her house. with a guy at abt my age. or older. not shuai. tsk. wasted. anw skipskipskip sis susan's mom made a BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR ME !! i am SO TOUCHED ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:

actually now is 12.02 am. typed this post for 2 days. lol.

and the cake is SUPER NICEE!! OMGOMGOMGG. so TOUCHING.

let me summarise it.

i had an unforgetable birthday. and CNY. =p

p.s.

first birthday sms-samuel lee
first birthday IM greeting-unique g chan
first birthday pressie-stephanie
first birthday hug-valerie tan
first birthday song sang-the kuo family
first birthday card-val and gracie
first angbao-kuo's ah ma ((:

pressies
steph-dice +SQUEEEZZYY+
val-SUPERCUTE biscuit+card
gracie-phone pouch and card
fel chua-starr + SQUEEEZZYY+ (but i thought its a super belated xmas one..? oops)
hock-soap ball??? lol but its cute =)

my birthday fell on CNY on the year of 2oo6 =)) and i have the same birthday date as senior ong yu quan's father -.- lols.

chiduns
lisa? daniel lim? wanling? anthony(haha. he saw the pressie which says happybirthday then he noe lor. lol)?

friendster testimonials
esther lee+samuel lee, yuying*dardarsenior*, mingting.

i feel HAPPY! =)

thanks friends. you all are the BESTEST batch of friends since my sec school life. you guys RAWK!!!!! =DDD

do tag me when u read finish this post. =) i know its a long one. =P

i am INSULTED.

2006-01-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

i feel DAMN insulted. by who. *doot.*

never mind the name. sms me for details.

he said *mind that he is a he. a hint given* smsed me twice. the first one says

'my resources tell me dat.. she.. er.. lyks.. me.. so.. i believe dancin wif her will only complicate matters..'

and the second one says
'lol.. i forwarded the wrong msg..'

i replied sth like i feel so damn insulted and while typing he sent me another msg which reads
'you are so smart that... u called me for my number; you tripped over a cordless phone. you studied for a blood test. you tried to drown a fish. you tried to arrange mnm's in an alphealbatical order. *note the wrong spelling* if i ask u to speak your mind you'll be speechless. you put lipstick on your head to mak*some text missing*'

and he replied another msg which says
'dat is the rite msg.. dat msg was sent to my fren last wed.. wanted to forward the joke..but forwarded the wrong msg.. sry.. i'm very blur today..

you should know who he is.

i feel so insulted. SO INSULTED.

isnt it enough? why do i keep get insulted by people those days? why? WHY???

let me explain the whole rumor thing.

it all begins last year when i just joined XMChorale. and i made this friend whose name is STALKER. i was talking to someone else that i overheard some seniors say chinyan is very SHUAI. and she overheard it and SPREAD the rumor that i LIKE chinyan because i think he is very ShUAI. i tried to explain and tell people the truth that i DONT like him but people wont listen. all they did is SPREAD the rumor like wildfire. and it got so WELLKNOWN that almost everyone in the choir knows about it.

i am the LAST one to know, by the way.

never feel so insulted. =(

shall i believe him. ?

DISGUSTEDBYSTALKER.

aha. finally.

2006-01-25T02:45:00.000-08:00

hey.

PHEW.

i am NOT getting sherman.

how RELIEVED.

but i am getting chinyan. who is okay la. but shy?

-.-

yawn.

the dance is COOL!! lol.

yeps. thats abt it.

-.-

now talking like mrs ho. o.o

anw i dont mean any offence to sherman. just expressing myself in a doooot way?

doot refers to an unknown adjective to describe the way which i am expressing myself in.

confusing? thats my intention xD

iMu___`

2006-01-14T02:59:00.000-08:00

OH YAA. forgot to type sth.

so far i had only received 1 pressie from yuying. note the pathetic 1. hahas.

the deepest fear

2006-01-14T02:28:00.000-08:00

lots things happened today.

the cold rm is SO dARNED cold. lol. no wonder is COLD rm. x)

nt in a v gd mood today o.0

i feel like CRYING now!

i cnt just go up to him and say HEY i think i like you. so therefore i dont know what to say. but i dont want to start a relationship.

how?

i am scared. really scared. of your leaving. dont leave me . dont. please.

please.

it will never be the same, i tell you.

sigh.

hopefully after his graduation i can really calm myself down and think abt this whole thing again. and study. really study. for whatever darned exams that is coming up. i know. i think i suck.

let me cry.

my friend says this.

i like this guy. just like you. he is going to graduate this year. and there is a guy, who likes me. i can feel it from my heart. but he dont know that if he has speak up, he has really come up to me and say the three words, i will accept him . now i am bothered with the guy i likes and the guy who likes me. which one shall i choose? i will never know. never. and i got this outside school friend, who is also a guy. we are like closest friend among all others. but i know that i dont like him, neither does he likes me. my other friend tell me that one day we might be able to become steads. i say i dont care. i dont even want to think about it. even its somehow possible. but i dont believe in myself anymore. not anymore.

my situation is somehow the same.

i dont want to say anymore le.

leave me alone.

-abt the choreography thing. i really really really really have nothing to say le. please dont come to me and ask again. PLEASE. -

the choreography comm rawk! x)

heh.

oh ya. and i saw this scholar in choir , who is like quite tall lol. anw when i am dancing the ` in a lotta gd ways ` that part then i caught him looking at me OMG. then i faster look away lor. so paiseh. =XX

then friday so many things happened and then like so suei lors. then i cried TWICE in the choir room after choir practice and choreography meeting lor. note the after ... meeting.

its 13th friday.

-.-

okayy. i shall stop here le. really dont feel like talking about it any more.

lalas. o_O

2005-12-31T00:21:00.000-08:00

hey guys. i am BACK.

lets blog abt wed.

well i forgot to buy the presents for unique, yy, val, eliz, made', sam, steph and some other people. then in the end, as a big shocking result, i received one and only one present from yy ( thanks yy <3 u lots ) and it is VERY shocking to receive the *certain stuff* she gave me. for details go ask her la. lol.

anw i am oso going to reveal a huge secret that only me and someone know.

its abt stalker.

well stalker sent me an email asking my forgiveness. and i purposely ignored it. i know. ya. i am not trying to make myself sounds evil or etc. thats not my point of telling you people this. the problem is that, for goodness of holiness sake, i dont really see the point of forgiving her.

me: stalker sent me an email.
a: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!

me: stalker sent me an email.
b: ohh.

me: stalker sent me an email.
c: ohh. wad she sayy?
me: asking me to forgive her.
c: oh. why dont you forgive her then?
me: i dun really see the point of forgiving her.
c: i dun really see the point of not forgiving her, unless you still expect it to be like before, whereas you all are stil friends, etc etc, and ya why dont you just forgive her?
me: *speechless and dunno wad to say*

actually my mood is like a and OMG STOP TALKING ABT IT I FEEL LIKE VOMITING.

anw.

oh ya. i haven change my blogskin =X

on wed, i see him and i got this strange feeling that makes me stop liking him for no particular reason. but i think i am still quite concerned abt him. well who cares. hahahaaa. o.-

yawn.

and then we were told that they eventually founnd a choreographer. which means our *sweat and blood* for the choreography stuff is wasted. haha. who cares.

and then i cannot remember anything in particular liao. oh ya sam where is the C. I. B?

i am still longing to have presents for xmas and new year =((

*bigbigbigbigbignews!!!!* my birthday is on the chinese new year! GOSHH!! xD

sighh.

2005-12-21T01:07:00.000-08:00

okayy.

i actually forgot the intention of blogging again. maybe its the sudden inspiration x)

snookers nice x)

whatever.

anyway i just saw someone wrote in her blog asking people to vote for a certain person during the aladdin audition. which makes me want to give up for it. =(( and i see no point going for it still. after so long, like when?? gwen's birthday partyy? where everyone encourages me to go on x)

thanks :

minggting
gwen
sam
i cnt rmb =XXXXXXXXXX pls tag to remind me =((

anw.

JAYCHOUUU<33333333 x))

heh x)

youth camp. shall i blog sth abt it? lols x)

starts on uhh, 9th dec, which is a fridayy.

fridayy
checked out my grouping. darnn shocked. not in grp with anybodyy i likes. =XX then briefing. and stuff. was sleeping in the room that has spare aircon. DARRRNN. gonna be cold to deathh.

saturday.
*where is my handout?**finds*
wakes up at 6.30 and *yawn*. then msg 1. then msg 2. then lunch. then rest. actually dint rest =X then activities =P we played this game called the baptist. or sth like that. so nice x) and thrilling x) or izzit. lol. anw i am among the few who survived. but then still got beheaded. dinner. notices this guy who is SHUAII. lol. then msg 3. *yawn* then got my memory verse test. then slept at 11.

sunday-Lords day.
wakes up at 6.45. breakfast. Lords table at ground floor. then went to the sec1/p6 side. which is equally boring. lol. then activities. got station games.
1- eat jellys. which is the leftover for lunch =XX
2-went to memorize verses. lol.
3-basketball court to throw basketballs in. lol.
4-straw to pick up rubber bands.
5-jigsaw puzzle and sing. lol. with actions somemore. was quite enthu -.-
6-some kinda word game. i guess alot siaa. i RULE x)
7-err. izzit the eat peanut one?
8-carries the Bible and run. =.=
overall its quite fun x)
dinner. msg5 . supper. lights out.

monday
wakeup. breakfast. msg 6.7. lunch. then activities.
which is to bring the sebu visiting saints around singapore. i fell in the mud at the beginning of the game. and got to run around singapore in that muddy pants. =.=""""""""
1-stanford raffles.
2-merlion
3-esplanade(wrong spelling?)
4-citylink mall
5-suntec city
6-library * at * orchard
7-back
and grp 4(my grp) and grp 2 tied for the first x) so happpppyyyyyyyy xDxDxD
msg8. lights out.

tues.
wakes up. eat. msg 9 10. eat. then i slept for 3 whole hours. finally i woke up. from 2 days of half-sleeping-ness. lol. then was thining to prepare for the exhibition meeting. but no inspiration. then went to eat. then memory verses challenge. was quite UHH. ya. then exhibition meeting. was quite jinzhang. then rushed my prophecy. lol. then was called on stage to share. then notice i dint take my notebook =.= then went downstage to take-.-
then eat again. then home x)

lol. was damn tiring lorr. somehow dislike camps for this reason -.-

okayy le. mus rush my hw before mom comes back x)

whateverer.

2005-12-19T02:15:00.000-08:00

i am a whateverer. o.O

anw.

i think i am kinda super bored? because i think i am seriously bored? which worsens my boredom to the khor*? and all those boring stuff?

?????

okkayy. whatever.

yawn.

last night i am SO scared because i keep hearing weird sounds(i mean it ) from the master room toilet.. sth like people walking.. then knock knock.. and stuff.. then i dun dare open my eyes cos i scared i see sth =X

myy goshh.

then i noticed this notepad thing which i wrote under the title of "blog post for choir camp". paste for u all to see?

-----

so. its over. i am so tired. tired till blur on sunday morning and then cant play the piano properly - -"
well.
i went for choir camp. -.-
first day:i reached there like super early. then sit there with nth to do. then finally its starting. then we had the telematch thingy. quite fun? cos they hav to dance x) its my evil idea -.-'' but at last everyone dint play according to the rule LOL. but they are supposed to hav fun so NEVERMIND ahaahahahahass x)
second day:its super tiring.
third day:breakfast's nice and i went back home. -.-
thats all i can rmb cos me was too tired till my memory lost 86%. i am worried.
i am STUPID. <= a thought after choir camp.
d e p r e s s i o n

-----

yaa. its like that.

actually. seriously. it sounds meaningless.

i am meaningless too.

just now on the way back home a sound kept echo inside my head. it says you are wrong. terribly wrong. to fall for him. all meaningless. waste of your time. i replied. okay. fine. as you wish. i will end my so called feelings for him here. right here X and never mention it again. lock it inside the darkest corner of my heart and never talk abt it again. not even thinking abt it. that will only bring pain forward. to my heart. tear the old wound to make it worse. more pain, more tears. less hope, less senses. then your heart will get frozen and stuff. and then its all gone. into eternity.

o.O

okayy i think i want to change a blogskin. a nicer one. or what. a meaningless one.

sighh.*

bored.

2005-12-17T01:55:00.000-08:00

i am bored =(

anw me went to the e3-friends bbq on thursday and i was like OMG cos i ate 2 half-cooked chicken wings x) because somebody has some kinda doooot purpose on me and he is actually trying to dooooooooot me?

lols.

anw.

watched chicken little. cnt believe that chicken little actually doooooted her. lor. so SHOCKING. lols. anw its still quite a nice movie. x) heh =DD

let me think my initial intention of writing this post.

the problem is, i forgot everything le =xX

omgggg. =(((

oh yaa. i remembered when a senior actually told me that he dint noe i actually exist in choir until like october. =.= which diaongs me alot because I DONT KNOW AND NEVER MIND =.="

some times dont you think that you have some kinda mental disorder that you keep talking to people that dont exist or you see them who doesnt exist at all? thats kinda creepy though o.O

lol.

I WAN CHANGE MY BLOGSKIN LE!! ITS SO BORING EVERYDAY SEEING THIS STUPID I HEART YOU THINGY. AND I STRONGLY DISLIKE PINK. PINK SUCKS. SORRY ZONGYI NO OFFENCE TO U x)

well. i got to go to make some kinda pao thinggyy. whatever. =.=

disgusted.

2005-12-06T06:18:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOODNESS. I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED BY PEOPLE WHO STALKS LIKE STALKER AND *OMG MY TUMMY V PAIN* BEING A BACKSTABBER AND BEING USED BY OTHER PEOPLE TO JUST PASS MESSAGE AROUND LIKE WHAT AND THE PERSON MIGHT NOT KNOW WHO I AM REFERING TO AND I DONT CARE I JUST WANT TO VOMIT OUT ALL MY FRUSTRATION AND I AM SOOOOOO DISGUSTED BECAUSE OF THAT B* DE B*Y BEHAVIER AND *OMG I FEEL LIKE DANCING. ?* ARGH I JUST CANT BEAR IT AND I WANT TO SAY I HATE PEOPLE WHO SAYYYYY MYYY BLOOOGGG SUUUCCCKKKKSSS T-T T-T T-T AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO STALKS AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO USES MY PEN AND PAPER FOR NOTHING JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT TO DRAW SOME KIND OF MEANINGLESS CRAPS THAT IS A TOTAL WASTE OF MY INK AND HE IS SIMPLY A SUPER *B* I AM SADDENED AND FRUSTRATED AND DISGUSTED AND STUFF.

ATTENTION.

2005-11-21T23:48:00.001-08:00

ATTENTION:

this blog is officially Anna Gong Z. 's personal blog. Official blog please refer to http://fountain-in-desert.blogspot.com for details. this blog is specially prepared for fellow Christian friends to enjoy. visit and tag. thanks =))

---------------------------------------------------

i loves you all. IMU*

ATTENTION.

2005-11-21T23:48:00.000-08:00

finally.

2005-10-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

memorial day.

2005-10-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

today is a BIG day again.

aahhhhaaaaaaaas. me is going really mad.

i HATES my blogskin now. how come my FAMILIAR girl goes MISSING?!?!?!

=(

gonna change blogskin AGAIN so MAARRHH FAAANNN~~~!!!

ok. me got back my result. VERY EXTREMELY HORRIFYING. me got 2nd in class for math which makes me a lil bit better. *haolien-ing* no la. me jk only.
ya. then me FAILED my home econs. ARGH. because of a 8-mark question. me is SO sad argh. =.=

i dunno wad to say, says my mom, they insults me and keep hurting me.

a: u noe wad!!!!! ^^
b: wad? *not interested*
a: i noe sth abt........ you!!!!! *ahhhhaaahahaass!!*
b: ??? o.o
a: today is the 20th.. you are flying HIGH today!! =D
b: ohh. no big deal i guess??
a: today u should TELL him!!
b: no la. not today. please lor. its not the time!! =(
a: o.0
b: and.. i think he hates me =(
a: he dont hates you +)
b: ...

a conversation between me and somebody**. me is b. =.=

=( my piano teacher is LEAVING !!!!! T_TT_TT_T

hmmm. today went to j8 with J and S. J and S are like err ignoring me =( so sad. argh. then later alight from the bus with J and saw that STUPID man. argh. FFFFF him =.= nvm it.

why my BELOVED ones are all leaving me? why i only know how to treasure them when they are already gone? why cant i just have a peaceful life? why am i like so GREEDY towards life? why dont i just have a right attitude towards my studies? why do i always have to cry after the exams? why do i have to fall for somebody that i shouldnt have fall for? why are these things happening in my life?????????????????

O.o o.O oh my gawd i am DYING.

it is a very bad day. for most of us. and i hates my results. and i HATES myself. for being so ****** and i REALLY disappoints myself. maybe i am just havin a standard that is too high for me. maybe. who knows.

Lord Jesus, let me have more holiness from you. Oh Lord, keep my heart. always pure to you. no other earthly loves i see. but only you Lord. Oh Lord Jesus. Clear all my burdens. they are really FREAKING me out. Lord i give all my earthly thoughts to you. oh Lord Jesus i give myself to you. may you lead me in everything i do, everyway i go. Oh Lord Jesus, thank you.

a little prayer from me. maybe i feel a little bit better now?
*depressed* _____*sigh*

T_T

[ today is a black-marshmallow-ish day. ]

XINMIN lol. watevas.

2005-10-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

today is a BIG day.
so. what is the BIG deal?
ohh. toady is the XINMIN SECONDARY SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE!!
oh diaong. =.="

ya. today is the open hse thingy. lol. and the parents are there WASTING their time to listen to COMPLETE CRAPS. which i dont care. i DONT care. lol.

me was there very early. my shift for helping ms aisha is 10-11am, then i was there like 2 1/2 hours EARLIER. me was there staying bored with NOTHING to do. -.-"

then i saw minghui. then i followed her to the hall. where i saw a bunch of choir seniors preparing. LOL. me was helping then. but actually me did nth really important larhs. o.- shldnt say that actually?? but it turns out to be quite nice i think??

then i was up on the 4th storey playing the piano. which has ABSOLUTELY no place to support my scores. i was FRUSTRATED. nah. not really though O.o then LOL the seniors were trying to THROW the MELIZO III banner down from 4th storey!!! to the 3rd. =X then i was helping LOL. until like they are about to hang it on the hall de side door. i was holding one end of it: it is SO HEAVY!! my arms going to break le :'( jonathan, (was it sherman too?) and chin yan tried to tie it up the door LOL. though it was a LIL slanted ^^ but we dont mind hehhehs. XMCHORALE RULES. me HEART xmCHORALE =)

hehhehs. changed a font. for fun =P

ya. then i kept crapping. *skipskipskip* i was SO bored helping ms aisha. until like 12. then i was FREED AHAHAAAAHHHAAASS ^0^ me went to help muarh seniors =) i dont know why but i suddenly become so o.0 enthu??? lol??? and stupid too??? when up there. LOL. sigh. o.0

*skipskipskip* me sat down to listen to VP craps abt XMS. which is LOL-ly *dooooot*. doot refers to a word that i dont know how to describe. heh hehs?

*skipskipskip* why the font changes back? =.= then me went home. then yunjia asked me to do blogskin for her. then i did eventually. ya. it turns out to be nice =)

*skipskipskip* my mom wants to read my blog. let her READ then. ahahahaaas. o.o me dont know what to say le. *dooooooooooooooooooot* doot refers to the UNKNOWN feeling i have now when i am typing my post. at 20 08 .

*skipskipskip* me LOVES my skin. i want to change another one on wednesday maybe?? lol??

okies. this is todays post. *publishes*

insulted.

2005-10-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

argh. ok. correction to previous post. i dont hate her. i am just being insulted by her MEANINGLESS and ENDLESS nagging and the WILL to WASTE my PRECIOUS 1 hour and 15 mins IN THE MEETING.

ok. WHATEVER.

i dont care larhs.

oh ya. actually tonite shld be the time that i am telling him the truth lor. but i cannot be online thanks to that WOMAN**. argh. may you people understands me. =X

me feel VERY depressed and REJECTED now.

a: shall i tell him??? i feel like telling him the truth liao..
b: i dunno?? is either u tell him, he reject you, and u feel hurt and get over it, or u dont tell him, feeling rejected yourself, and NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH.

lol. thanks to RACHEL =) <333

ya. actually its sorta true larhs. thanks to all my fwens for supporting me. =) lurf ya lots lots lots =P

i STILL loves my blog. ahahas. even though i prefer the other skin. =X i just found out that the skin actually CAN be used. and i dint noe -.-"

i feel quite bad now larhs. tmr there is err, open house and i think i am supposed to help ms aisha. to do dunno wad thing. and SHIT i forgot to call joey to check out the time. OH F.

i dunno wat to say le. very very very very *doooooot*. doot refers to the word that i cant think of now. argh. i am FREAKING OUT actually.

the exams are finally over. so i can slack now. but wat is down there is that there are more things to come, there is still syllabus(dunno how to spell -.-) , more stress to come, and there are still more things to do. which FREAKS me out alot. AGAIN. and why bother to keep working and dont hav the chance to REST for a while. eventually the consequence is that u will DIE izznt it.
=(

congrats dexter!! =) budden dun SAHH BOOHH the SL wor. me shall not mention the name here. =)

COOOOLLLL me can STILL feel the EXCITEMENT when i heard the news. DEXTER U RAWK LOL.

ok me stop le. he is still not online. dun think he will be online for tonite larhs. =( ok. anw.. ya. i dunno what i am writing here. i am writing my post out of COMPLETE FRUSTRATION but i feel better now =)

gd luck to myself telling him the truth. oh ya me wanted to type sth here lor. still can ma??

a comme amour

My love how can you be so naughty with my heart
My love how can you play so often with my love
My love you shouldnt play with me the way you do
you will regret
i will forget i am sure

if you could know
how many times i've dreaming of you
you'll know how many times i've been thinking of you
my only love you shouldnt play with me the way you do
you will regret
i will forget i am sure

sorry for the words i've told you
sorry for teh bad thikning i've got there
but my herat is so sad
sorry i can't live without you

but you should say
oh yes you should come with me when i ask
you should marry me when i pray
then i'll take you in my arms, love,
i will press your hands against___ against my heart

My love how can you be so naughty with my heart
My love how can you play so often with my love
My love you shouldnt play with me the way you do
you will regret
i will forget i am sure

sorry for the words i've told you
sorry for the bad thinking i've got there
but my heart is so sad
sorry
i cant live without you___

it is somehow the mood i have. omg i got to sleep now. =X

sighs.

the post.

2005-10-14T05:24:00.000-07:00

argh. i HATES her. cant mention the name. and DONT ask me about it. THANKS for your COOPERATION.

-title-less?-

2005-10-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

!@$##@^(*&^&($!(&*(&( I AM SO ANGRY BECAUSE I WAS TYPING MY POST HALFWAY THEN MY EXPLORER CLOSED?! SHALL I SAY HAHAHAAAAA?? OR SHALL I LAUGH? OR SHALL I

C R Y ?????

T_T T_T

sighs.

now i dun feel like typing any more.

i misses my HIM*.

sigh. argh. that STUPID freak. TALK TOTAL CRAP. ARGH. SHIT HIM MANNNN.

NOW i feel like crying.argh. hmphss.

now i dun feel like talking anymore. argh. -.-"

whew.

2005-10-06T16:22:00.000-07:00

wehew. long no blog le. miss my blog =)

hmm. aniiwaes. EOY MAN. i HATE eoy. =(

a: X and Y are steadingg!!
b: *gasp* i dunno they are STEADINGG!!!

LOL. somehow reminds me of [yiting/samuel/jaemeng/elgin/weiyao/weiyeat/shaojie/joelle/linyao/evon/karling/terence/xinjuan].
oops. too long. -.- dun hav me though ^o^;;

=p

ok. anyway. i still have lotsa exams to go. like wad. HMT 1 HMT 2 math 1 history sci1 sci2 MT listening ART math2 HOMEECONS and stupid ORAL. -.-

arghh. i am going to FAIL.

during literature today me take off my specs and wanting to sleep while i still got 3 more questions to go. and then i really took off my specs and i dint sleep. i SCRIBBLEEDD instead. ahahahas. not funny >=(
aniwaes.

i SUX.

-.-

thanks evon =) <33

thanks Samuel =) <3

thanks Jun hei =) <33

thanks pway Weng =) <333

thanks my frens =) <3333333333

i am crapping again. i sounds like i am going to die or something like that.

yarhs.

tmr got HMT. ohh i mention already. -.-

i want to stop writing here le. -.-

2005-09-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

lol. i just changed my friendster profile. it is a total disaster LOL. but its fun lars. =X

errm. i MISS sb. =(

sad. sad. sad. sad.

argh. too lazy to write. =X

whew.

2005-09-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

wheeww. i dint blog for exactly one week le. too lazy >_<

I DINT DO MY ART!!! =O

= equals to speechless. *according to someone* LoLs.

the wad arhs. oops i forgot.

o ya my mom's back!!
i went to the airport to fetch her. what is so funny is that as u noe there is a limit for the weight of luggage each passenger can bring rites. which is 20kg for ur info. my mom brought *guess wad!!* 46kg. LOL. which freaks me out alot because she wanted to take MRT home lol. just imagine how is she going to board the BUS with 46kg of stuffs. ahahas. so we ended up sitting in a taxi. lol.

budden i wish she's not back =( cos i cannot sms/chat/msn/blog!/surf/slack/slp late/etc etc. budden she brought back LOTSA things for me to EAT which DELIGHTS me ALOT!! lols.

and she brought me a WALLET!! which is NICE! =D but its green =X somehow reminds me of SHAOJIE.

shaojie: ohhh green wallet! is that my skin..?
me: oh diaong. wat crap is that!@#!@..?
shaojie: crap stands for Creativity, Ridiculors, Available and Please.
me: =O ohh i see..? what's that anyway??
shaojie: oh i am so KAWAII and CUTE!!! *runs away*
me: *freezing in place with shock*

oops gtg. nags mom.

so.

2005-09-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

so ya. yiting HATES me. but someone says she is just JEALOUS. yiting i know you are the SOS but i am SO not going to SNATCH away your BELovEd just like SOMEONE...

so She HATED me. PURPOSELY IGNORING me. like WTShit.

if only i dun care lor.

mrs khor sitting at the bustop, murmuring " im so not a mushroom." and one student walks towards her and saying: " erm gd afternoon Mrs Mushroom head, WHOOOPS Mrs KHOR**, i am sorry to tell you that.." Mrs Khor: " WHAT???!!" student:" *scared* i... i wannted to... tell you... you that... *deep breath* the pillar you are leaning on is still wet. as in WETPAINT." *runs away*

lol.

one day Samuel was walking on the street then suddenly some SOSes saw him so they go "waahh, SAMUEL!!" and then samuel said :" Waahhh, SOS1 SOS2 SOS3 SOS4, etcetc." then the SOSes said:" waa! we are so KAWAII, so SEXY~~!!!" *runs away*

-.-"

craazy imaginative day

2005-09-21T23:26:00.000-07:00

ahaha. todays so farnie lor.

i was supposed to go with yiting to collect her IN T. budden in the end we dint go and stayed back until almost 3 ba. then YT says she wants to go back first. my heart broke upon hearing that. nah i am jk. =) so i was staying in the 1e3 classroooooom and readin a novel when sam asked me to go down to the fitness corner =P.

so i was there standing quietly and feeling bored, looking at BRANDON and MINGTING together laughing. and MT's fren oso. SO CUTE =) ya. then somehow i took a photo and i wanted to send it to MT. is she online now?? .. whoops. she is not. =(

then nelson came to 1e3 oso. then we were crapping around like siao. LOL. then someone (dunno me or nelson) mentiond abt this SOS thingy. AHAHAHAHAS. *evil laughters*

around 5 jasmine comes to 1e3 too. and we sang Te Quiero, Daemon (lol i dun really noe how to sing), and go the distance i think. =) vivala musica was totally a MESS cos we went OUT OF TUNE. LOL shame sia in CHOIR somemore. =P

ya. then i was so bored that i nearly fell asleep. then Nelson kept crapping. blablabla. lol. and finally elgin's back. so we went to NTUC in HG mall to find out the prices of the food that they needed for dunno wad thing. its sorta FUN actually =P. and then elgin went home. so i and sam had our dinner outside. and we kept laughing like siao lor. o.0

[ specially for MINGTING ] you know what.. today we saw a ORANGE colored hair guy!

Mrs Low: ahhh!! see llaannngg!!
Mr lim: i am the SHUAIest!!
Mrs lee: ohh i am the CUTEST!!
me and sam: *lol*!!!

and eventually we cant find our way home LOL. so we ended up walking back to Xinmin and walked to the 55 bus stop.

i hope that i can be invited for 1e3's camp. =
it is such a BORING post. so much CRAZY IMAGINATION is theree today but it is late so i dun wan type le.. =(

sigh.

argh.

2005-09-20T00:59:00.000-07:00

argh.

my finger hurts.

during english i was slacking away. then suddenly Mr hutch said: zizhao..? *whoops..!* x)

argh. argh. argh. the frenster photo is SO ARGHH!! -.-"

lol.

thinking abt sth crazy.

monster: buahahaha! even if you shout until the heaven breaks.. no one will come and rescue u!!
princess: until the heaven breaks!! until the heaven breaks!!!
until the heaven breaks: huh? who call me?
who: nope i dint call you..
nope i dint: huh i where got??
monster: ohh my god.
God: *looking down* huh? who call me?
who: argh. i really dint call you!!
i really dint: err. why so many people here?
so many people: are you talking to me?
are: o.0
princess: are you all came here to rescue me??
are you all: huh???
huh: erm. really crowded here ya?
ya: ya??
ya: hey bro. call me for wad?
for wad: ya your brother dint call you for wad. o.0
monster: waa!! how come got so many ghost here???
ghost: oops. i was spoted.
spoted: ???
princess: ermm.. may i ask a question??
ermm: go ahead =)
ahead: go where?
monster: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get awayyyy!!!!! *arghhh*

from then on, you can see a monster screaming everynight. thats how the monster becomes mad.

LOL? i am so mad.

lalala. -.-

2005-09-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

lol. crazy imaginative day.

*all characters not in their real name.

*crazy imagination 1*

John: *walking towards Smith* hey there.. i am Smith.
Smith: o.0 hey i am John. -.-
John: !!! John?? that is my 1st ex..
Smith: 0.0!! huh.. the name sounds familiar.. OH! ARE YOU THE SMITH I LOST CONTACT WITH 30 YEARS AGO???
John: *nods* John... Finally i found you... after so many years of searching...*crying*
Smith: yes dar... *hugs*
.
.
.

*crazy imagination 2*
John: OMG!! John my specs is broo-ken!!
Smith: oh just now the chicken chop is so nice ^^
.
.
.

*crazy imagination 3*
John: S~M~I~T~H..... =P
Smith: *reading newspaper* yesh?? aiya dun disturb me.. dint see me reading the papers mehh? care abt the news is VERY important... it is important because..=X
John: *Clears throat* u noe what, dar.. we dint do that DOOOOOD thingy for long liao..
Smith: yar hor... ok you first or i first?
John: i first la.. buh bye.. me go bath liao..
.
.
.

*crazy imagination 4*
i keep eating. keeps eating. and eating. and keeps eating and eating. until i becomes a frog. o.0

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

today is a lameo day.
attire check: boys-hair, gers-skirt. i was freaking out and trying to pull my socks up while i heard that. and i really freaked out. why shld i give a damn?? o.0
and then we had class as usual. and OMG I FORGOT TO GO SEE MS AISHA AGAIN!! =O then i slacked during Physics. sits right beside teacher but she dint see me. doubts about her eyesight. o.0
then after school we actually suppose to do this project thingy butta i skiped it :P then i stayed in 1e3 classroom doing nothing -.- and we stayed until 4 then go eat lunch. then i went back home.
during dinner i keep looking so blankly that people asked me what happened. i smiled and said nothing.
feel hurt upon hearing Jun Heis word this morning. almost cried. twice. during physics and Geog. i dont really know what to do and i am not so sure of my feelings. maybe i just let it fade away quietly?

during Geog i feel myself is such a FAILURE. maybe life will be better if i dont exist in this DAMN world. cried thrice at home.

dun wan type liao. *depressed*

=(

another post today.

2005-09-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

i dont care. i am going to use chinese.

well dont you think chinese is a beautiful language.

爱，直至成伤。

被心中不断的痛麻痹了。对什么都没有感觉了。为什么一直要伤害我。为什么你忍心伤害我。

i am a person of no importance to you. i know. i understand. i cried.

ya. i know. so what. i dont care. i wish you know me. and would talk to me.

it is all impossible. nah. nothing's impossible. everything is possible. bracket in my dreams bracket.

ahahahas.

not funny.

why am i freaking out.

incredible and unreachable happiness. laying in front of me and i just cant touch it.

i know i am crapping. but well, who cares.

thanks S for being such a fren tonite.

argh. what am i talking.

2005-09-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

i am so Lame today. LAME. -.-"

keep signing to Jun Hei while singing the part "... waiting in your arms". he keep looking at his arm and looks blur. -.-"

then i keep laughing for nothing. o.0

when we singing Te Quiero Yiting suddenly go out of tune o.0 dunno why o.0 maybe thiinking about someone then dunno where we singing o.0... weird though. everybody is laughing. poor yiting =(

MR YONG XINMIN CHORALE LOVES YOU! YOU RAWK!! =)!!! -.-

see i am lame. argh.

why cannot upload? o.-

today's chinese essay writing is lame too. i keep writing those kinda old tales like, "oh loving teachers..! how great Thou ART!!!.." things like that. feeling lame myself o.0

argh. cant bear it anymore.

o.0
o.0
o.0
dunno what am i writing such a lame-o post. -.-"

argh..!!

sudden depression.

2005-09-13T23:01:00.000-07:00

everytime i look thru this particular person's blog(well i won't tell you who q=), i will feel a sudden depression spreading in my heart. maybe i just cared about him/her too much.

sigh.

you know sometimes this unknown feeling just come upon me and just wont go away. no it just wont go away.

special habit: quarrelling with my imaginary friend. sometimes an enemy.

o.0

oh my gawsh. i hate myself suddenly.

it felt long that i never feel this depressoin liao.

why am i crapping here? i havent do my summary yet..!

ohh it is already 11pm. later i will end up sleeping at 2 again. argh.

cant i just type something more interesting? why the heck am i doing this?

fuk it off man.

*going crazy*

i think i am going to cry the whole night again.

though it sounds a little bit scary??

*looking away*

new post today =]

2005-09-13T19:57:00.000-07:00

lol. i waked up at 6.28 this morning again. it seems like it is no good to sleep at 2am everyday. so mus sleep early xD

well. today is an uneventful day( everythings so usual. )... i slacked until after school. =]

the marhjong thingy is SO LAME -.- i was saying "ohh marcus i wish that later you don't chou dao 1e6 de group lor.. blehhss." but marcus dint go to chou the qian so i went instead. and guess what. we are really playing against 1e6 ppl-.- and two groups of sec 2s x( thats so ARGHH!! -.-

so we(linyao, marcus n me) eventually lost to the group of sec 2 ppl. argh. well its no big deal. blehhss. q=

i shall stop here liao. nth much to say anyway. o.0

today..

2005-09-12T02:35:00.000-07:00

ahahahas. such a farnie day. =)

i am late for school. i don't really meant to be late actually. i waited for the bus service 55 for whole 23 minutes and there is absolutely no bus coming. anyway i changed bus and reached school at 730 when the principal is crapping away. therefore, i am late.

and i was in a rush therefore i ignored my breakfast. well i started to feel my stomach yearning for food to stuff it full and eventually i went to the Ladies because it(my beloved -.- stomach) feel like escaping from my body to find something to eat. so i spent some money on some quick food to eat and i went back to the place where the latecomers stand.(do you call that a foyer??)

Lee Lao Shi said: take out a bk and read laaa.. i said nvm laa. and all the late comers sat down. (i thought we are not supposed to sit but well, never mind.) i sit there aimlessly and suddenly i saw someone(well i wont tell you who q= ) walked by. i was like OHH MYY GOSHH! but i don't think he notices me. =
then there is nothing fun. i spent my 1st part of the 2 1/2hrs writing my team Diary(W.I.L.D. private property), 2nd part was slacked away and the 3rd part staring blankly at the guys that are having PE. don't ask me why did i stare at boys but not girls. there wasnt a girl on the parade square. -.-"

it is quite a long post now. finally it is 1015 and i can move to the classroom liao. people saw me was like OMFG HOW DARE U COME LATE?!?!?!?!?! i smiled diaong-ly. (like that => -_-) then i was told to take the HE test during recess tmr. argh. hate tests.

during recess i was supposed to find zongyi to pass her the scores. well i thought it was 3e6 but they are having chinese so i was like "huh? wait let me find her..... ohh izzit that one?? nope shes not.. too not slim -.-" and finally the teacher comes out and asked me whats wrong. -.-" i said ohh sorry may i see zongyi please? he stared at me, looking confused. and after 3 secs he said, ohh there is no zongyi in the class. -.- oh diaong. and someone suggested me to go to 3e7 to find her since they are saperated because of the MT period. so i did. i went to 3e7 de window there and whispered: "Wei H**!!!" weihui was shocked ^^;;[[sorry wei H** ]] and finally i saw zongyi. pass the score to her liao. she looked confused. blehhs. -.- i ran away liao.

waa such a long post sia..-.- During aseembly period there is this XM superstar thingy. on the way to the hall i was caught blouse tucked out. well who gives a damn anyway. but then the teacher pulls my blouse up until halfway-you know where- and i was so EMBARRASSED. -.- so i quickly tucked my blouse in and i kept it tucked in until i walked out of the sch gate. incredible iznt it. x) blehhss.

the XMSuperstar sounds lame but one of the CHOIR senior went up.. so it is not lame anymore ^^;; they sing nicely and think they got a prize or sth. CONGRATS =)

then we had this MT period with MR Ng TK. -.- he was crapping away as usual. and this week is such a busy week!! tmr need to go for marhjongg in the canteen, math test, HE test, wed still got Chi compo competition.. CHOIR PRACTICE ^^... ohh my gosh my GEOG PROJECT.. haben do yet leiis.......... F mannn.. argghhh!!

and finally school is over.

what a DOOOOOD day. -.-"

another day wasted.

sighhs.

i just cant believe it.

2005-09-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

ahahahahahahas. i just cannot believe that i am still doing this. now is almost 9 and i am supposed to go to bed at 9 30. and i havent do most of my 1-week-hol-hw. ohh my gooshh. and i cant believe that i am still typing my blog post. well blog sounds nicer than hw didnt it. x)

ahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahas. so i am still typing my post. -.- stop bothering me la.

yesterday went to chatroom in midnight.. suddenly got this feeling to go to chatroom.. as usual people say "hey babe. can we chat?" so i replied "ok. why not." and then it will go on and on and on and finally the guy will ask "hey. i think you are sexy. can i F*** you??" then i will give a slap on their face and walk away. dunno and dun understand what are those guy thinking. you know. argh.

i absolutely hate homeworks. ARGH. >_<

*yawn* 2059hrs]]

my left ear gt sth wrongg... pain siaaaa..! =X

jesterday oso spent so much........ heartache siaaaa...

and the stupid webcam.. spent my precious afternoon on it and IT DOESNT WORK..gonna go complain siiiaaa!!! =@

mus go liao. think i will sleep late tonight. hope i am not late tmr morning.

todays post is about...

2005-09-10T23:37:00.000-07:00

today i go walk walk in sim lim sqre. the MP4 so damn nice sia!! lol begged my mom to buy for me. x)

i bought a webcam that is not working. u.u

and i go walk walk in bugis PARCO junction. i suddenly think that she is actually suits him better than me. well, let it go, i thought quietly.

and walking towards Bugis MRT station, two boys come to me to ask for the donation for whatever freaking children's whatsoever freaking association.

me : ...
boys: *blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah...*
me : ... i am in a rush. -.-"
boys: aiya wont take v long de la.
me : *act cold* can i go now? =/
boys: ... =X*siam*
and i walked away. smiling, laughing* inside.

ohh my gosh. how can i do something like that to two boys that are just as kind as angels in my dream..?

ahh well. u.u

forget it man.

when you look thru ppls' blog, you will notice that they are saying "ohh my gawd, suddenly i feel so very extra/ out/ lame/ sad/ depressed/whatever." grownups say "well, it is normal for a teenage boy/ger to feel like that." so the grownups don't care. those who really understand counts.

lame.

i slept at 2am this morning and i woke up at 1151. and this person called to ask me go do dumplings for lunch. i was like WTF what time only is lunch alrdy?! then i notice that it was almost noon alrdy. -.-" slack until blurblur diao sia?

oh my gawd. got test/competition sia!! i forgot -.-

hate my phone. gonna change a new one.

hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 hate my phone hate my mp3 sia.........!!

argh.

i am tired!

2005-09-03T11:14:00.000-07:00

ohh myy gawwd. i keep sleep at 3 am those days and i FREAKED out. -.- slack during class... sit beside teacher somemore!! -.-""

waahahahahhaahas. x)

lurb my blog. =D

lets go movie.... it is so bored at home!

-.-

neo rox.. i monday go take with senior and yt, then think tues go take wif SL and D, then yesterdae go take with QWAD, YT and SL. but later i found out that YT actually asked SL the previous dae. sorta disappointed. but the neo is NICE!! so nvm ^^

omg i gtg to create new blog for D.. -.- later then write......

2005-08-31T03:21:00.000-07:00

吃饭吃到睡了

我开车开到傻了

我看书看到你了

开始怀疑我怎么了

说话说到吐了

我写歌写到疯了

我爱你爱到盲了

天知道我又怎么了

不舍得舍不得

都分手了舍不得

不舍得散了

（爱是你的我是我的完了）

原来我只是突然累了

原来我不说了

原来我撑着撑到麻了

原来我不爱了

原来是这样。我终于明白我迷茫的原因。原来我不爱了。
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i tried. but i seriously cant. forgive me if i have done anything wrong. i don't care. i am sorry.

i would like to run away from you
but if you don't come and find me...
I WOULD DIE.

i am sad. i am so sad. as time goes by, everyone-- well ya. everyone-- is changing. including me. i wanted to reunite with my class forever.

Yes, I did get over him and I'm cured.
Now, I don't know how to get over the cure.
-.-

ahahaha. whhahahhahaaha. i dont know why today i am so fierce. i scolded a senior and he ran away. ohh my freaking goodness.

love. it's a verb.

I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love.

I love thee, I love but thee
With a love that shall not die
Till the sun grows cold
And the stars grow old.
-- William Shakespeare

Mary Poppins: First of all I would like to make one thing perfectly clear.
Mr Banks: Yes?
Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.
(exits)

2005-08-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

harharhars? today is so crazy.

i and senior and yiting go take neo todae le. so sian the machine. sigh got out the photos oso not nice. so fake. i am smiling so fake. eeeewwws. feel like vomiting??

i really have nothing to say about that thing. my senior knows it all. i am kinda sad cos, maybe no one understands it. well [[22.59pm]] my senior just smsed me and said i am paranoid. i mean whats wrong with being paranoid? i said it. even my senior dont really understands me. never mind her then. i can still move on by myself.

i sounds strong dont me. but deep down i am weak. who knows. the person that looks outwardly strong are inwardly fragile. when you broke their heart, it will never heal--i am one of them.

haha. never mind. never you will mind, never me will mind. just forget about it and move on, baby. thats what they say to me. but well. never mind. i shall forget and get on my way. haha? i know i am lame in the way but ok. i will stop writing here. i shall continue tomorrow.

- . -

sighs.

2005-08-29T00:26:00.000-07:00

i am giving up. but senior says i should give a last fight for whatever it is still there. so i think, fight lor, wont die one. the problem is, how am i going to fight?

extremely sad; sick and tired..

2005-08-26T23:44:00.000-07:00

i feel very extremely sad today. i dont understnad why my frens always do this to me. i had enough of this already.
feel so sick of it. she started to take the lead and totally ignored me. and ppl are like, oh she is so nice/talented/artistic/etc etc. and they slowly drifted away from me and STICKed on her. HOW IRRESISTABLE. i know it is not funny, nor do i in a funny mood. i am very serious about this and i dont know how it is going to be when i carry on like that.
and it is all the same. with you and without you. you can give me nothing else, but heartaches. i cant bear it any more and i dont want to bear it any more.
my tears are bitter. why do i have to get hurt all over and over again? since 2000.... i reallly have nothing to say about it.
just finishd reading a novel. eventuallly the main characters get together and lived happily ever after. very nice ending. feel very sad. locked myself in the room and cried the whole night. thats what it is going to be. one will give up and one will get hurt. that is what it always leading to.

it is always like that. when you walk around with her, ppl will say 'hey XXX!!' instead of Hey you.. it is a total different thing. ignorance is not a good thing though.

=( i feel sick T.T

2005-08-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

so cute. if u want u can keep it. msn de dp.

i feel sick!! omgs like all my organs are wandering inside my tummy T.T

so sad.

everyone will eventually die. they come out of nothingness, and goes back to nothingness. i am not being nagative of life, it is just that a fact cant be denied.

2005-08-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

做了好久的朋友

以为对彼此了解已经彻底

从朋友变成情人

才了解相爱没有相处容易

失去了权利保有任何距离

失去了距离保有任何秘密

失去了所有秘密

也失去了美丽

你给过我的承诺

我相信最后只是力不从心

想要的终究太多

忘记了爱情没有回头余地

捉不住情人们憧憬的甜蜜

找不回朋友间有过的默契

我们太急着催促幸福前进

结果却是缘份被掏尽

事到如今到如今

再说什么还有什么意义

而你的深情的表情

看在我眼里多么的痛心

早知道爱情噢爱情

让你我连友情都难再续

我宁可认命就相信

当初对你有模糊的爱情

是因为孤寂

---------------------------------------------------------

看看这个故事吧。也许会有一些感动。

如果有一天将要离开这个世界，我希望最后的归宿是在你的怀里。即使喝下奈何桥边那碗遗忘前世的孟婆汤，来生，我依然能够带着对你怀抱的记忆去找到你。　　——题记　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　一　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　在新婚之夜，我突然问了丁宇这样一个问题：“阿宇，我们总有一天会老去，直至死亡。如果可以让你选择，你希望自己最终的归宿在哪里？　　话甫一出口，我就后悔了。大喜的日子问这样的问题，太煞风景了。　　果然，丁宇沉默了。　　我正想出言挽回时，丁宇却开口了。　　“如果有一天将要离开这个世界，我希望最后的归宿是在你的怀里。这样，即使要喝下奈何桥边的孟婆汤，来生，我依然能够带着对你怀抱的记忆找到你。” 　　黑暗中，我看不清他的神色。然而，丁宇的话中所透出的认真与坚决，却让我感觉到一股巨大的震撼冲击着灵魂。　　是的，那时，我是世界上最幸福的女人。　　丁宇是个性格很温柔的男人。我不知是否因为这样的性格阻碍了他，至今仍然在一家公司里当着一名普通的职员。当初结婚时，很多朋友都不理解我为何会选择他，毕竟，他一个月的薪水仅及我的四分之一。然而我始终执着的认为那颗温柔的心能抚平我每日的辛劳。　　结婚大半年了，我们始终住在公司的一栋三层楼的小公寓里。虽然只是一套两室一厅的小房子，可我们都没有怨言，用丁宇的话说：“房子和面包总有一天会有的。”尽管我也想住进一栋漂亮的房子中，但这个物价颇高的城市让我只想先安排好每日的生活。　　然而随着时间的推移，我渐渐感觉到了一种悲哀。我曾经相信平淡才是爱的真实内涵，可日复一日的相同生活模式，让我开始心生厌倦。柴米油盐取代了浪漫激情，婚姻开始呈现的乏味让我对它未来的走向逐渐迷茫起来。　　我多么希望丁宇也能感觉到，或者这样，他会做一些改变。但丁宇却似浑然不觉，每日如常。丁宇的文笔不错，还发表过一些小文章，所以，下班后总喜欢伏在桌上写写画画的。我想让他能更多地把精力放在工作上，却总未见成效。长久下来积累的对婚姻的迷惘和悲哀让我的心逐渐麻木和封闭起来，再也感觉不到一丝丁宇的爱。　　许勇就是这个时候闯进了我的生活中。　　公司搞了一次晚会，我独坐在舞池边品着红酒，百无聊奈之际，一个中年男人邀请我跳支舞。　　晚上已经有很多人来向我发出过邀请，但都被我以各种理由婉拒了。然而面前这个男人，似乎举手投足间都散发出中年男性，特别是那种事业成功者特有的魅力，让我无法拒绝。　　乐曲声中我和他轻轻拥舞在人群中。迷幻的灯光让我一时间有些晕眩。他在我耳边轻声说到：“陈冉！对吗？企划部的。” 　　我小吃了一惊，抬眼望着他。这个男人个子不是很高，大概只有1米76左右，然而那股气势却让我不得不去仰视他。　　“很奇怪是吗？如果连手下员工的名字都不知道，我还怎么混啊！”他轻佻的语气却使我心中一紧，疑惑下，我张口就问：“你是……” 　　恰在这时，一支舞曲结束了。他拥着我，附耳轻言：“我叫许勇。你是今天唯一一个和我共舞的女性。”说完，翩然离去，只留下我愣在那里。　　这个男人，就是我们公司的副总？而我，竞是今晚舞会中唯一和他共舞的人？　　一丝虚荣的满足悄悄爬上了我的心头。　　回到家里已是凌晨，推开家门，丁宇仍然在伏案疾书。见我回来，丁宇把书稿都收了，然后从厨房端了一碗面出来。　　“老婆，累了吧？这碗是你最吃的……” 　　“鸡蛋肉丝面，对吗？”我打断了他的话。丁宇有些不好意思的挠挠头。结婚这么久，他还是像刚恋爱那会一样，经常用这个动作来表示他的不知所措。其实我自己也不知道为什么打断了他的话，但今天总觉得自己像做了贼似的，脱口又说：“你除了会写写字，下个鸡蛋面，你还能做什么呀？” 　　丁宇的脸色一下子变了。我有些愧疚地望着他手中那碗兀自热气腾腾的面，轻声道：“对不起，宇，我可能是太累了。” 　　丁宇也把表情放松了，柔声问我：“那，要不就早点休息？” 　　“嗯。”我点了点头。　　晚上睡觉时我头一回背对着丁宇，当他自后抱住我时，我轻轻地挣了一下。　　丁宇的手臂一僵，缩了回去。　　我没有说话，黑暗中，脑海里一直出现着许勇那浑厚而潇洒的身形。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　二　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　平淡的日子有持续了一个星期。　　这天正好是周末。刚下班，许勇给我打来电话。我一点都不惊讶他是如何知道我的手机号码的，毕竟，他是我的上司。　　到家时丁宇兴致盎扬地说两人一起去湖滨公园，因为从今天起免费对游人开放。我歉然说道晚上同事约着一起聚会。看得出丁宇很失望，但转而他有笑说玩开心点。　　皇伦饭店是本市一座很有名的四星饭店。能在这里经常出入的人非富即贵。刚到门口，就看见一身藏青色西服的许勇立在那里。　　我随着许勇步入大堂时，被眼前的华贵震住了。迎面正中央是一个彩色喷泉，喷泉背后的一个小圆台上，一位优雅的女琴师正弹奏着舒缓的乐曲，两边的餐桌上，尽是一些衣着高档时尚的男女。　　下意识望了一眼自己那已是退出流行的着装，我不禁暗生惭羞。　　我们在大堂一株棕榈树后的空位上坐下。这个地方视线很隐蔽，坐着可以窥见整个大堂而从外面却不容易看到里面。　　几杯红酒下肚，我逐渐放松了自己。许勇端着杯子，含笑问道：“知道我那天为什么只请你跳舞吗？” 　　我不解。　　因为你独自坐那的样子打动了我。“我更是不解了。公司里美女如云，我想自己并算不上最出色的。　　“我挺羡慕你的丈夫。如果我有一位这样美丽的妻子，是不会让她在这样的青春里把双手变粗糙的”。　　许勇话中的意思让我有些慌乱。这样一个充满魅力的男人对你说着这种暗示性的话语，让我突然有了一丝害怕。至于到底在怕什么，在那一刻我自己也不明白。　　我几乎是有些挣扎地说道：“不，许总。我丈夫是个很称职的男人。” 　　许勇竟然笑了出来：“你在自欺欺人！一个在幸福中的女人，是不该有你那样无助而茫然的眼神！它让你美丽的双眼失去了应有的神采！” 　　在当时，这番话重重击中了我的心事，我像一个孩子般伏在桌上哭了出来。半年多来的迷惘，被这个男人轻易的揭开了。　　钢琴乐的旋绕中，许勇的手抚上了我的头发，耳畔，是许勇温柔的诉说：“小冉，让我来给你的生活重新注入光彩，好吗？” 　　仿佛有一道旋涡将我吸了进去，我下意识地点了点头。　　那晚，我没有回家。　　一个男人，点燃了我的激情，将我带入了那所——失乐园。　　三　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　接下来的一个多月，我过的如同贵族一般富奢。我总是挽着许勇，如同一对热恋中的情侣，出入各种高级社交沙龙中。这一切都是那样的真实，我却依旧恍惚如梦。　　那晚我没有回家，丁宇并没有过多的追问。后来去了公司同事才告诉我说丁宇电话都打到她们那里了。我知道丁宇已经明白我向他撒了谎，可是他为什么没有揭穿呢？不过我和许勇的关系是很隐秘的，而那些高级社交活动又是丁宇难以涉足的。　　可丁宇却比以前有了变化，回到家中只是写东西，如果我不问他什么他也免开金口。他的飘忽不定让我更生厌烦，莫名的，两人进入了冷战。　　丁宇每日开始独自做饭，而我则和许勇在外面把日本料理法国大菜吃了个转。只是在一次回家时，看见凌乱的厨房和桌上几根火腿肠时，我的心中忽然有了一丝愧疚。　　这天，我和许勇在一家商场里闲逛。这里面都是一些高档时装，可以说是专为许勇这类人设的。我想自己应该不在这类人中，但是原始的虚荣却被满足了。　　我漫不经心浏览着两边衣架上价格高昂的服装时，许勇的脚步突然停了。我奇怪地望了他一眼，他却没有看我，只是说道：“那个男人一直在看着你。” 　　我顺势看去，身子一下子僵了，钉在了原地。　　丁宇。　　我一阵慌乱。这种以他的能力买不了的东西的地方是他从不涉足的，我做梦都没有了到他竟然会出现在眼前。　　丁宇的眼神和复杂，仿佛很多东西铰在一起，那眼神，没来由让我心一痛。我抛开许勇，奔向丁宇：“丁宇，你听我说……” 　　丁宇转身跑了。　　我顿在那里，紧咬着下唇，望着他消失的方向，一动也不动。　　许勇走过来，搂着我轻笑：“好了，别看了，我送你回家！”我斜了他一眼，心里恨他还能笑的出来。就在那一瞬，我生出了一丝疲倦和后悔。我没有回答，任由他将我送到家门口。　　家中，丁宇正在狠命吸着一支又一支香烟。灯光中，屋里弥漫着黄昏的呛人的烟雾。只这一会时间，丁宇竟憔悴的似乎有些苍老了。　　我凝视着那张从相恋至今已五年的熟悉面容，眼眶有些湿润了。　　丁宇又狠一口烟，掐灭了烟火：“小冉，既然回来了就早点睡吧。” 　　他的语气冷静的大出乎我的意料。我涌起一股不安，问道：“你……你没有什么想问我的吗？” 　　他摇了摇头，露出一丝无奈而凄然的笑容出来：“不用了。有些事，不知道比知道要好。”我咬了咬嘴唇，轻声道：“阿宇，我……” 　　丁宇摆了摆手打断了我的话，“小冉，别说了。我是真的不想听了，你和他的事，我其实早知道了。”我顿时望着他，却看见嘴角那丝苦涩：“别忘了，我的好多同学都混得比我好。我一直不相信他们说的，今天却亲眼看见。你和他在一起那种快乐的样子，我已经很久没有见到过了。” 　　丁宇又点燃一支烟，深吸了一口，声音已有些哽咽：“小冉，我很愧疚。” 　　我哭了了；原来，他并非心中没有想法。我说：“阿宇，我们重新开始吧，好吗？” 　　丁宇只吸着烟，冷冷地望着我。那苍白的面容令我不敢逼视。　　他的沉默，给了我清晰的答复。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　四　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　一周后，我和丁宇把结婚证书换成了离婚证书。　　走出法院的大门，我一时有些晕眩，仿佛一切都不是真的。　　天气晴朗，空气中，也弥漫着一股异样的味道。压的厚重的乌云似乎沉甸甸地压在了心上。　　我们都没有说话。还是丁宇先开口：“走吧，回去把东西收拾一下，等他来接你。” 　　我听了无话，全身却空荡荡的，有种很强烈的失落。我想哭，是一种突然间的情绪。直到现在，这一切恍然如梦，而我竟不知身在何方。　　回到那共同生活过的屋里，我便收拾着自己的衣物。我想把存折给丁宇留下，却被他拒绝了。　　外面，响起了急促的喇叭声。　　许勇来了。　　我步到门口，深吸了一口气，闭上了双眼。这屋里曾那样熟悉的味道将从此陌生，而我的心情却纷乱如麻，不知从何整理。　　忽然，丁宇叫住我，递给我一个盒子。我询问的看者他，没有接。他的表情又现出了往日那种急促：“这……这是送给你的。就算是个纪念吧！” 　　“谢谢！”我想打开，被他止住了。　　“别看了，走了再看吧。或者，永远别打开了。” 　　我又有一种想哭的冲动。　　望了一眼窗外，天气阴沉的可怕。虽然才下午五点多，却已然如黑夜降临。　　悬挂的电灯莫名的摇晃起来，接着便熄灭了数秒钟。我无缘无故打了个寒噤。　　屋外喇叭声又响起了。　　灯又灭了。　　忽明忽暗几次后，灯泡挣扎着送来一次光明之后，彻底灭了。就在那一霎，我竟看见了丁宇脸颊上垂落的眼泪。　　房屋剧烈的抖动起来。　　一切是那么突如其来。　　仅仅是沉默了几秒，屋外便如炸锅般，人声鼎沸，各种杂乱无章将我的惊恐推上了极致。　　天花板上的墙皮簌簌地掉了下来。房屋的抖动更剧烈了。　　我感到世界末日的来临。　　一双有力的臂膀紧紧抱住我，低沉而镇定的声音响在耳边：“小冉，别怕，我保护你出去，然后赶紧坐他的车走！” 　　就在说话的同时，屋外依稀传来汽车发动声。丁宇护着我，摸索着打开门，我大声叫道：“许勇！许勇！” 　　没有人回答。　　房屋的抖动让我已经站立不住了，许勇竟然不顾我而先行逃生更让我全身冰冷，满心都是被欺骗的绝望。　　“喀喇”一生巨响，几乎同一时间，我被丁宇用力推到一边。黑暗中，一个重物压在了我的腿上，剧痛下的我大叫了起来。接着便听到丁宇闷哼的一声。　　我的恐惧支配了所有的思维，开始语无伦次：“那个混蛋！竟然先跑掉了！混蛋！”骂了半晌又一阵剧痛袭来，反而让我从歇斯底里中清醒了过来。我试探着开始呼唤丁宇。　　黑暗中，丁宇的声音清晰地传来：“我没事。小冉，你有没有怎么样？” 　　“我的腿被砸着了，动都动不了。”我的声音里已有了哭腔，“那个xxx蛋，居然先逃掉了，混帐东西！” 　　丁宇没有回答，半天，叹了一口气：“现在别说这些没有用的话了。好歹我总陪着你啊。”顿了顿，他有些无奈： “看来得等到明天才有人救我们出去，我的腿也被压住了。”　　这种地狱般的恐怖经历我从未有过，疼痛和恐惧让我已经无法正常思考了。　　我觉得自己已经快崩溃了。　　“小冉，丁宇叫我的时候声音中仿佛有一点笑意：”还记得咱们结婚时，你问我的问题吗？“ 　　“……” 　　“你忘了？再好好想想啊。就是新婚之夜的时候。”丁宇的语气还是那么沉稳，我的心竟也安定了不少。虽然不明白他为什么会在这种危急时候提到这件事，但我还是老实回答了。　　“你说，明天的报纸上会不会登一则新闻，题目……题目就是……地震中夫妻徇情双亡？”丁宇的声线颤抖着。我一慌，焦急地问道：“丁宇，你没事吧？”在这无边无尽的黑暗中，只有他才能让我觉得安心。　　“我……我真的没事，你……还担心我吗？……咳咳……”一阵剧烈的咳嗽之后，是长久的悄无声息。情急之下，我拼命挣扎着身子，腿上的剧痛瞬间冲击着大脑，我一下晕了过去。　　不知过了多长时间，我悠然醒了过来。睁开眼，仍然是一片黑暗。恐惧如同一只巨大的魔掌抓住我的身躯，我极度无助地大声呼唤着丁宇。　　良久，才听到丁宇微弱的声音：“小冉，我在……在这里，你……你还好吧？” 　　我终于痛哭出来：“阿宇，我……我怕……” 　　“别哭，别哭啊！”丁宇有些慌张，“我……我会陪着你，你别……别哭……”听着他强做镇定的安慰我，我的心仿佛被撕了一个大口。　　“真的，别哭了。我……我以前不是说过，不管多……多危险，我都会在……在你身边……”丁宇的气息越来越急促。　　“阿宇，你别吓我，别吓我！呜……”我泣不成声。　　丁宇没有回答。　　我慌了，心头狂跳。　　“咳……咳……小冉，我……好想……睡……” 　　我的泪水如泉涌般不止：“不要，阿宇，你要坚持住，千万别睡着！” 　　“呵……呵，我……我不睡…我要陪……陪着你……到天亮……”丁宇的气息微弱地似在空起中飘荡。　　一团火在我胸中燃烧起来，脑海中不断出现以前我们相恋时和结婚后的场景。虽然总是那么平淡，但现在我才发觉这种平淡竟是那么真实和宝贵。我一直在自我悲哀，却不明白自己所追求的幸福就孕育在这些平凡中。而我，直到这生死交关之时才发觉。　　“小冉……我……好冷……，看来……我没办法……陪你了……”丁宇竟然还在自责！　　“不！”我用尽力气大叫：“我不许！阿宇，你说你要一直陪我的，我再也不会离开你，我想和你过完这辈子！你答应我啊！” 　　黑暗中，是无尽的沉默。冰冷的空气里溢满了死亡的气息。　　“对……对不起，小冉，我……我失信了……” 　　巨大的悔恨疯狂地噬咬着我的心，那种钻入骨髓的痛楚让我无出发泄，泪水却无法停止。我这才知道，这个用生命来拯救我的男人，是那样深沉地爱着我。然而，他的爱竟是用生命才让我真正明白！　　无尽的悲伤中丁宇似乎在自言自语，只是声气却是极其微弱。　　“如果……有一天……将……将要离开……这个世界，我希望……最后……的……归宿……是在你……你的怀中，即使……即使……喝下……孟婆汤，我……我来生……还是……还是会……找到……” 　　任凭我如何大声呼唤，却再也听不到丁宇的任何声音。撕心裂肺的悔恨让我彻底崩溃了。　　冰凉透骨的寂暗里，只有我无止无尽的悲伤。　　不知过了多少个小时，我终于被人从残垣断壁中救了出来。　　眼前，是我这一生永远也不可能忘记的画面。　　一面坍塌的墙死死压住了丁宇的大半个身子，只有左手臂和头还在外面。在丁宇的身下，一大滩血渍早已变成褐色。丁宇的脸庞仍对着我躺倒的方向，挂着笑容，似乎正准备继续安抚我的恐惧。苍白如雕刻的脸上，是一双永远也睁不开了的双眼。　　我的胸口犹如被万斤重锤击中，一下子扑到他的旁边，抱着他的头，用尽了全身的气力嘶喊道：“丁宇——” 　　声音划开了废墟，却换不回永远沉睡的丁宇。　　周围的救护人员无不潸然泪下。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　五　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　一个月后，当许勇手持鲜花出现在医院时，被我当面把花仍到了他的脸上。病床边，是一叠散落的文稿，是丁宇在工作之余写的一本《我爱我妻》，里面，记述着我们自相恋以来所有的生活点滴。　　我没有骂许勇，我不想让他卑劣的灵魂侮辱到我怀中的丁宇。　　是的，我怀中的丁宇的——骨灰盒。　　他说过，我的怀里是他最后的归宿。　　我要他下辈子还能找到我。　　泪水一滴一滴掉落在黑色的盒子上。那里面，是我一生唯一的记忆。

try to forget.

2005-07-30T01:08:00.001-07:00

i will try to forget.
if i forget everything, will i be happier by then?
i wonder.

and there is so many rumors about them.
i told myself not to care.
and i tried my best not to care.

and sadly, i failed.

*-|[stop i n s u l t i n g me]|-*

101th!

all i typed in these days -.-

coughs.

titleless

random random?

stop hurting me.

some craps.

i fucking hate myself.

你知道喜欢和爱的界线吗?

personality stuffs.

doot.

WEIRD PEOPLE!!!!!

haiz.

lol.

erms.

100th day celebration!

yoyo.

pissed.

welcome to my blog! =.=

1000hitcelebration!

===

video =D

lalala.

uh huh.

i find myself talking to myself

a meme

2nd.

the name meme =|

randomness.

PHOTOS! =D

the GUITAR craving!

xD

lol.

nthness

-.- some more.

somemore randomness.

randomness.

titleless.

welcome back.

yea man. i cant be any better.

sianzation.

cries.

nothingness

haizz.

nthness.

no titleness

the NOTHINGNESS

yawns.

nothing inspires me.

yawn

hmmm.

back =)

lols.

my BIRTHDAYY!

i am INSULTED.

aha. finally.

the deepest fear

lalas. o_O

sighh.

whateverer.

bored.

disgusted.

ATTENTION.

ATTENTION.

finally.

memorial day.

XINMIN lol. watevas.

insulted.

the post.

-title-less?-

whew.

whew.

so.

craazy imaginative day

argh.

lalala. -.-

another post today.

sudden depression.

new post today =]

-|[stop i n s u l t i n g me]|-